17 0

So, I have secretly been becoming secretly attracted to someone on this site, but they're not nearby. what's the best way to proceed?

By Unclehotrod7
Actions Follow Post Like

Post a comment Add Source Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


What outcome are you looking for? How deep have your conversations become? What's your intuition tell you from the tone of your conversations. Above all be honest. Ask, what's the worst thing that can happen, okay and what's the best thing that can happen from indicating your attraction. You don't have to be crass. Try subtlety.


Maybe start with a message, be honest about your attraction, no erotic comments, develop a friendship, then possibly email, photos and phone talks. If it grows then a personal meeting. Remember, if no one is ready to relocate and leave everything to start again with someone who's still a quasi stranger, then maybe it's more attractive just to leave it in your fantasies, it always works there.Good luck and leave updates!

I like your way of thinking. I already sent a message, but no response yet. I've noticed that is one of the problems of this site. You don't get a notification that someone sent you a message. You have to look for it.


I have that problem all the time. Good luck.


Okay, update. Holy shit... I just sent a message and actually hit send. We'll see!!! Fingers crossed.


Geographical distance is one thing. Emotional distance is another. Having a deep connection with someone and not having a dialog with them will kill the passion faster than not sharing a neighborhood.


Sometimes it's more fun to have a secret crush than it is to maybe find out that they don't like you.

Ha! Or maybe, that you don't really like them outside of your own fantasy. Been there!


Check out their profile, message them with a question or comment about one of their interests

I suspect it is someone you have already interacted with and may know a bit about them; start there.


Have you made contact with them?

I'm afraid to, to be honest. I can't relocate because of my business, and it sounds like she's committed to where she is.

I guess that I'm afraid of really liking her and not being able to do anything about it.

She should be just down the street from me.

@Unclehotrod Sounds like it to your ears may not be accurate but I get why you would hesitate.

I myself am not in a position to move at this time but absolutely will be in a few years and even that could possibly change.

Perhaps she is only committed for a period of time that can be worked with.


Skype. Best have a face to face conversation before buying airline tickets.


Don't send a dic pic.

I have more class than that.

@Unclehotrod I assume so. It was a joke.


Secretly buy a secret home close to them.

@PalacinkyPDX Yes, but secretly.


Exactly what Geoffrey51 said.

Gypsy494 Level 7 Feb 9, 2019

Just send a private message and see what happens.


There is nothing like the direct approach...we are not mind readers!


Don't send nudes !

FableAce Level 3 Feb 9, 2019

Oooh how exciting...I am going to be guessing all day smile009.gif

Amisja Level 8 Feb 9, 2019

I don't think he's going to come back and update us. He hasn't liked any of our suggestions, or interacted at all.


Firstly, make sure you don’t come across as a stalker or an obsessive. Converse and see where it takes you. If there’s rapport you’ll both recognise it, if not it will fade. Just make sure if relationship is not reciprocated you don’t chase.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text 'q:284870'.
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content read full disclaimer.
  • is a non-profit community for atheists, agnostics, humanists, freethinkers, skeptics and others!