My husband was an alcoholic. I saw him go through a few years of sobriety (at least as far as I could tell) and then relapse. He struggled with it for years, and finally succumbed to it. He had discovered a secular support group (SOS, Secular Organization for Sobriety) that was working for him, but, sadly, it was too late.

My son, who is a social worker, worked with addiction patients for a while, but became frustrated with it because he would pour his heart and soul into them and they would relapse repeatedly. I think AA works for some, not for others. Most of the12 steps are good advice for all of us, leaving out the religious aspect, but its success rate for alcoholics is not as good as one would wish.

I think there is a certain personality type that cannot deal with their shadow archetype in any other way, and it constantly causes them to seek refuge in a bottle where they can stop what AA calls their stinkin thinking. Having known a number of people with this problem, I can say that they tend to be highly intelligent, witty, gregarious and somewhat self-centered. But that's just my experience. I do view it as an illness, albeit mental, for which there is no real definitive cure outside of iron clad will power.

You might be interested in checking out the book discussed by the author here:
[npr.org]

Congrats on staying sober! That being said stay the fuck away from AA. You literally have the same chance of quitting cold turkey as opposed to going to them! It is nothing more than faith based. An athiest friend of mine went there reguraly. He said it is not faith bases. That is bullshit! I think there is NARCONON (however you spell it). There is another that is supposed to be good. Can not remember the name. I'll look it up.

SMART recovery was the help that helped me.
[smartrecovery.org]

I never tried AA.

Behavior or disease? Who cares?

Stay strong

It's whatever works for you. My story is strange. I'm an alcoholic without question but I only drank every second day. I drank to excess deliberately and had both beer and whiskey, and I enjoyed doing it. I enjoyed the taste. About 4 or 5 years ago I developed a gastro problem and my waist got large. The side effect is that I just cannot drink like I did before. I quit drinking for about a year but then went back to it. Like I said, I like the taste. Last night I actually had 4 beers. It may be my last drinks this whole week, or I might have one or so and quit. Before I enjoyed being drunk but not today. In my lifetime I enjoyed being drunk until 3 AM much of the time. Today I only enjoy the taste and I have to be in control. Whatever my weird gastro condition is I might start to drink and then pour it out and eat. The drinking is just not important any longer.

A man I've known for years recently heard my story and he denied that I'm an alcoholic. His reasoning is that I don't shake and wake up every morning "having to have it." Having drank heavily for well over 20 years my answer is that he knows nothing about alcoholics.

There are a couple groups here dedicated to sobriety and addiction

I was in there since 1998 and did the recommended stuff feverently. So I find one day while praying on my knees that I'm talking to myself. Felt pretty jaded. I still go occasionally but I now seperate from the prayer part. Not as involved as before. So there are meetings for us (non aa) but few and far between.

This post is in no way directed at anyone who has posted here, or meant to disrespect any person's struggle with addiction. These are thoughts developed over multiple decades of observation as a trained counsellor... as well as being an addict. So, with that intro...

I'm of the mind that if an addiction requires one to voluntarily lift that alcohol to your mouth, then it's a behaviour, not a disease. I'll catch shit for saying that, but think of the difference between a disease like cancer or alzheimer's. People get dealt a shit hand cuz of DNA. And - ya - some will get dealt the "addiction" gene. The critical difference being that voluntary behaviour differentiates the two.

I can't be judgemental - I struggle with addiction issues like many other people, but I take full responsibility for my own voluntary actions, like lifting that glass of wine to my lips. If one claims helplessness for such behaviour, then you're just looking to place blame somewhere other than yourself. Tough message, but it's fact.

Be your own hero and be responsible for your own actions.

I kind of went through the 12 steps almost 20 years ago, but not for substance abuse. My higher power was my therapist, friends & doctors.

I have been sober since 7/29/1997. I was a fairly spiritual person early on, but had started to "lose" my faith by year 3. I started going less and less frequently after 3 or 4 years, and now have not been to a single meeting in well over a year. I, too, got sick of the dogma, the cliches, and the repetitiveness. It was great in the beginning, and I could not have gotten sober without the fellowship, but it has outlived its usefulness for me now.

I am addicted to eating far too much. I wish there was some kind of program that I could go to. Those places that weigh you are no good.