My younger half brother died overnight and Im not looking for sympathy but needed a place to put my thoughts and perhaps solicit an opinion should someone understand my situation.

My father died 25 years ago and we had just started getting close after a lifetime of separation so I really did not know my younger brother very well but I had become very close to my step mother as my mother was not the mothering type.

A couple of years after my father died, my step mother remarried and suddenly no contact. Phone calls were not answered or returned, nor were letters ever answered. This hurt me more than my father dying because when I think about when I started becoming "hard" it was around that time.

So once again I was kept from really knowing my brother. We have messaged every few months and perhaps a phone call once a year but I can't quite explain how I feel.

My dilemma is whether to attend the funeral or not. He lived in Ohio and I live in South Florida. When she called to tell me she said "I thought you should know". I was at work so couldn't really talk but called her later and told her I could get the time off but wasn't sure if I should go up there.

Her response was again to tell me that she called me because she thought I should know and didnt want to put me out but if I did want to come, "we would love see to you" She is originally from Ky and that is a southern thing they say to be polite.

I can't imagine her pain and do not wish to add to it despite the past but just can't decide what is the best course of action here.

My brother will not know whether I am there or not and even though I have another brother that I also barely know, I think perhaps my presence would make it more difficult for her as I am the spitting image of my father and her husband may be bothered.

My father and step mother had adopted a nephew of my step mother's when he was a teen but he himself had disappeared as soon as he was an adult and only recently back in the picture so hoping he can give me some insight but thought perhaps I would get some thoughts from people that do not know me or them