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I just came home after attending a completely secular wedding and it was wonderful! Not just because there was no mention of God or Jesus or 'holy matrimony'. It was two people celebrating their lovely relationship. I met up with family members I'd not seen in a while, renewed some old friendships and (hopefully) made some new ones. I'm posting this for people that already know it but I'm going to say it anyway: We don't need a magic man in the sky to have real happiness in this world.

Sandster 7 Apr 7
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12 comments

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0

We tried to have a secular wedding 30 years ago but my husband's cousin was a preacher and we told him we were not having any Jesus in our wedding words but he did it anyway. Both of us were so stressed from working without help in planning things and I made my wedding gown and head dress and we got worn out so our short honeymoon was lying in bed being sick with colds. I wish we just eloped but both of us were both oldest in our families and I wanted something nice. Our friends were helpful and kind. We have good picture that I cherish.

0

I was married in a very secular court and it wasn't great. Jesus wasn't mentioned but God was referenced in some of the posted language around the court. I wasn't paying much attention to it because I was getting married. We have been married two years and have never once uttered the name of Jesus or God.

1

My last marriage was a destination wedding at an island in a FLA bird sanctuary. The officiating person might have said something religious, since I was still a partial believer at that time, but I don't remember. I was only thinking of the black skimmer flocks circling us, and we went hiking/birding through the islands that weekend for our honeymoon.

I designed and sewed my wedding gown as a ballroom dress that I wore at ballroom/swing dances for many years.

2

I was married in my house with a few friends my mother, and my ex's many family members, Cuban food, dancing and varied music. Our best friend, a Jewish attorney performed the wedding, with a few funny words, a friend said we reminded him of Dezi and Lucy, an aunt of my husband smoked a half smoked joint she found in an ashtray on the coffee table and most laughed except my mother after someone told her what the smell was.

I don't remember what my ex said as vows but mine was, that we are having such fun, we should at try to do this forever. It was really like every Cuban party, loud, fun, lots of dancing and laughing and some getting a bit too drunk.

I didnt want any type of wedding, but his family and my mother were upset about it, so I acquiesced and agreed to have a small celebration at home.

3

Well over half of weddings here are now non religious, mostly "humanist " weddings. Unlike England where weddings must be held in recognised places like churches or registry offices weddings in Scotland can be held anywhere.
My son was married last month in a beautiful rented holiday home in the remote west highlands with wedding photos on the beach in the rain.

1

I aquired my ministers lisscence for the purpose of giving my sister and her husband the secular and personal marriage they wanted and it was by far the most awesome wedding i have ever been to. I was responsible for writing everything that would be said and planning the ceremony and i tried to bring everything together as best i could. Everyone here seems to have a reasonable opinion... did i do okay? This is what i wrote/said in my speech;

Now, when i accepted this responsibility, i was admittedly at a loss in regard to how i should officiate this gathering. So i wrote this structurally based off of a professional wedding script i dug up which tells me this is the part where i am supposed to talk about the definition of marriage and what it means to be truly happy in a relashionship. I cannot speak from personal experience, as i am yet unmarried, but i have learned much i think from what i have seen of the relashionships of others. Weddings are an important part of almost every culture, every country, every religion. Even those of us who have no religious affiliation usually wind up getting married. Religion tells us that we were created by God, and science tells us we were brought into existance during a Big Bang event. While these two views are admittedly very different, i DO see one thing in common between them. In the beginning, we were all one. All of us and everything around us was waiting to be born into creation; whether inside the creative mind and spirit of a loving God, or as an unfathomably tiny peice of an unfathomably small particle ready to burst forth with the incomprehensible power of creation. To me, both of these theories are equally beautiful and incredible. Both of these theories seem lead to some of the same basic conclusions, such as that we were put here to find our own path and choose our destiny for ourselvs. What i find most beautiful about this is exepmlified in the act of marriage; that all of us, everywhere, each in our own way, choose to seek the closeness that we once held with each other before the dawn of creation. To be so close to another as to appear inseperable. To be able to synchronize with each other and benefit from not only our companions perfections, but their imperfections as well. Finding joy and happiness in something as simple as our partner's presence. This, to me, is what it means to be truly happy in a relashionship and to be married. I have no doubt that the couple whose union we are here to celebrate today understands this well, and the only advice i would like to offer them is rather simple. Remember that your partner is your greatest ally in life. If you can react to the difficult situations in life by drawing closer together in trust, and remember to laugh with (and occasionally at) the slight annoyances/aggrivations that everybody's personality quirks can sometimes bring, i have absolute confidence that you shall find a happy and prosperous future awaiting you.

1

I agree with the part of the magic man. No need of him. We just need to do what is right, what is correct. Also with secular wedding which is the only one that is valid by the law and the one that was ever used in my family.

4

I had a secular wedding...or as we call them here in the UK a civil marriage. Quite a few of my friends and family did too....repeated a few oaths, signed the register and then went on to the reception....no different from a religious ceremony, only no mention of god.

The same here in Portugal: civil wedding. The only that law recognizes.

@margarida I didn’t know that...thanks.

2

Absolutely! I have not had the pleasure of a wedding like that. Many of my family occasions are painfully religious.

3

Eldest daughter got married in a secular ceremony. The highlight was she and her husband reading off a list of things they admire about the other person. An other (indirect) benefit - much shorter ceremony (as it was outside, the plans were to keep it short anyway as it was a warm day) and much more time spent at the reception allowing the guests to socialize, mingle, share stories as we all shared in the day.

4

I’ve only attended one secular wedding and it was very beautiful. Much more meaningful since it was just about them, not committing themselves to geezus lol

2

Yes and I am told that secular marriages are much less likely to break down. I do not know if that is the type of people who engage in them, or the more realistic approach they engender.

Hmmm. I had 2 ond at court house and other my house. So can't say it changed much. I have heard of many my parents she who didn't divorce because of their religion. I know a lot of non religious people wh had church weddings, because of family or just customary.

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