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How many men and women here have had the experience of turning 50 and finding that they suddenly no longer count as sexual beings? Or as useful in business, family or friendship groups?

Aryn 7 Apr 11
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No. I'm almost 67 and still get positive stuff happening across the age range. I teach for a crust, and there is a kind of "managed" social dimension that goes with that. I'm two years past retirement age but don't see myself stopping work which i enjoy. My employers asked me to stay on as long as i choose to and apparently i score higher than most in yearly staff evaluations of effectiveness and popularity of how i deliver the course content of my subject.
I think it's because i enjoy being in what i regard as a free wheeling creative situation where all sorts of interesting people and topics are streaming through. Somebody said, once you go past fifty you really don't care what people think or say about you. Somewhat true i think. I do take care to live ethically in the world and in both my private and professional life while earning a reputation as a mildly eccentric chap that is known to bristle good naturedly ( but firmly ) when the BS meter goes off.
I enjoy and require a good measure of solitude and so am sometimes ( usually pleasantly ) surprised by the level of social engagement initiated by others. I am on occasion chided for not reciprocating as fulsomely as some expect, but, that's me. Most of us semi reclusive types probably have an excess of fingers on which to count our core relationships.
As to counting as a sexual being. When i was fifty i was getting attention from a number of women and i think ended up nesting briefly with the wrong one. Seventeen years later i still think of the one that got away and has since married. What can i say, it was, and often is, complicated.
There have been others, some quite alot younger. A lady is presently making her interest in me obvious ( if i'm reading the signs accurately ) but i don't feel inclined to get romantically involved with anyone.
I should add, i am blessed with the companionship of a fox terrier X who is a great joy to me.
Family is the group i seem to have grown more distant from. Our mother died a little over three years ago and at the funeral i, being something of a voyeur, looked at everyone in terms of what stage of life they were at and it is clear that my nieces and nephews ( i have no children ) were all engrossed in raising their families, paying their mortgages and had a social web of friends of a similar age.
Likewise with the younger set, preteens and teens. Preoccupied with their own interests which is entirely natural. People my age are dealing with aging and having friends and family pop off. I don't think my observations are any different to that of most folks now or from other pages of history. I see the life span as a landscape in which we exist together but are positioned apart physically, by circumstances, experience and whatever world view or outlook we have developed and so i do not have any feelings of isolation or loneliness, as i structure my life to accommodate my need for alone time.
I tend to perhaps selfishly, privilege indulging my interests. My father died at seventy two. If i follow suit, thats only about five years out for me.

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My workplace pretty much axed every person over fifty on Dec 31st, except for the execs. Last I heard, my group got permission to hire a summer intern to make up the productivity deficit. Yeah, let me know how THAT goes...

Zster Level 8 Apr 12, 2019
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Never. But then I am not convention bound and tend to be colourful.But I have been complained to by women in the street for having long hair and for brightly coloured hair too. So I guess they were dismissing me as a sexual being.

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Oh hell no, I’ll be 49 this year. No intention of slowing down or loosing my sexy.

Yes, that would be disappointing, especially that last part. 🙂

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Yep. Very disheartening.

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I've never felt that way, and I'm 66 years old, recovering from cancer. I moved to Thailand to teach when I was 57 years old, and at least one man has proposed to me per year..sometimes many more. Weird, since I'm a demisexual, with zero sexual attraction to anyone or gender, and spent every free minute doing bird photography in the jungles, climbing cliffs, etc.

I think maybe one reason I attract men is that I really don't care, but pursue my interests fanatically, so sometimes men are intrigued by this. Men usually complain when women chase them and show too much interest, and seem to want the women who don't seem to want them.

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Just wait until you're sixty!

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I think this depends a lot on what profession you're in. I haven't felt that way, but ageism is definitely a thing.

Orbit Level 7 Apr 11, 2019

@Aryn Wow, I'm sorry you've had that experience. I managed to find a lovemuffin so don't lose heart; it can be done (and I met him on the internet in a chat room)

@Aryn erm how old was the person you were trying to touch? Did you get consent first?

@Aryn ???

@Aryn well yes. That pain is telling you that you are doing a destructive action and it is bad for you(and others!). That is what pain is for. Perhaps try dating people closer to your own age?

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