I really hated changing my name when I got married in 1982, because I knew I was making a mistake, but felt pressured into doing so. Then 2 kids and 29 years later, I finally got my divorce. I kept my married name, for simplicity, to match the last name of my children.

My reasoning was that I had a choice to take the name of my abusive dad, or abusive husband, so between the two, I'll choose the last name of my children, rather than my childhood name.

I want to go forward, not backward. If I were ever to get married again, I'd be glad to take a new name, but it would have to be a person for whom I'd be glad to share a name.

It makes more sense to me for children to take the mother's name, rather than the father's. But that's not the way it is.

I may a little old fashioned, but I loved changing my name to that of my husband’s. When the children came along it made it easier that they too had that surname....for school, etc. I know that there are many women who object to this, and some have always kept their own surnames....usually for professional reasons, such as my daughter-in-law, who is a lawyer....but in her private life she uses our family surname. It must always be a matter of choice, of course, whatever suits both parties in the marriage, with more couples not choosing to marrying in the first place it’s common to have dual names in families.

One of my closest friends is Chilean, but has lived in Canada and the U.S. for more than 30 years. It is not customary in Chile (a predominantly Catholic country) for women to change their name at marriage. But she and her husband get constant scrutiny in airport security. This is your husband? Why is your name different? I suppose it is actually suspicion of latinx, but it seems by now we would be more accustomed to couples or families with different names.

Not only that, but how we formally address women has directly to do with what their relation to a man is.

Miss, Ms., Mrs.