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Has anyone experienced a big family secret after family members have died? Well earlier this week someone messaged me and my sister to say she is our cousin. We have since discovered that the entire story my Grandma told us about her childhood was a fib. My grandma's Mum was probably a child who gave birth to 6 children to a man who was already married. After she died, My grandma's father moved his first wife back in. Grandma told us this woman hated her and sent her away. This bit isn't true. Such a strange tale. My grandma did leave but as an older teen. What did she hope to achieve? Part of me wonders if the second wife didn't die. Let's hear yours?

Amisja 8 Apr 17
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7 comments

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0

Is it worse that nobody had to die? I was raised by my mom and, after moving out from under her roof, I learned a lot about the pain she caused and the number of people she'd deceived, including me. I resolved to never accept her word on anything ever again and to maintain a distance between us. The family holds it against me and it weird them out that I refuse to be emotionally invested about it. But hey, nobody died!

0

Secrets and Lies:

My sister is mixed from an affair my Mum had.

2

Maybe a future one for someone else. I have a daughter from a casual encounter, she kept it from me and I only found out through an amazing stroke of chance. She married a person who she represented to me as a platonic roommate and raised the daughter with his name. I have no way of knowing what either the girl or the husband were told. So far only my Y is on record which wouldn't be trackable through a female offspring.

Wow

2

My maternal grandfather was a suicide and a Catholic so it was hushed up. I outed him to almost all of my generation and the one after. It was really more force of habit to our elders than much of a scandal to them. That side of the family was far from devout and considered being in a church a social obligation not a serious ideology

My experience of Catholicism had more to do with outward respectability than anything else.

@Buttercup - why did you feel the need to "out" your grandfather for taking his own life? My wife to this day believes that her paternal grandmother died from natural causes when in fact, she too took her own life. Her father kept that from his daughter, not for a malicious reason but more because he had a failure to imagine what kind of information would be available in the future. I've never felt the need to out him or his mother. In your case, you not only outed him to your generation but to the subsequent generation and while no offense intended - you seem proud of yourself for doing so - why?

4

Not a big family secret, per se. But family members began opening up and revealing more fckd up shit about my mother as she was dying and after she died. Nothing quite as big as having secret long lost family members though.

Surprisingly it seems an annual thing in my family. In fact my generation are rather dull.

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I've got one I can't tell yet.

That's alright

3

We never knew my grandmother had been married. My mother was always secretive about it and we assumed she was a bastard child. Three years after my mother died, we discovered my grandmother had been married twice. My mother was born from her first marriage, but she spent the first ten years of her life under the care of my grandmother's second husband. My grandmother, meanwhile, had moved to a different country and was living with a man whose wife was in yet another country!

A book written using this data. would be "stranger than fiction".....

@Mike1947 My first 45 years of life were. I really must continue my autobiography.
[mojacar.ws]

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