I want to know what you think...
Do you believe yourself to be a good parent? And WHY?
I try. I do, and did, my best. I never spanked or hit my kids. I taught them that everything has a consequence: good or bad. Their choice. Both have thanked me for that.
I don’t own them, nor do they ‘owe’ me anything just because I’m their mom. What I give them is freely given from unconditional love. I expect no more or less in return.
I tried to break the cycle of abuse from my mother, though she was never abusive to them. Thankfully. My son cannot handle stress, so he drinks. I’ve learned to accept that I didn’t cause that, nor can I change it. My daughter has always known who she is: strong woman.
My biggest strength, in my opinion, is the strength of my love.
My son and my daughter have 28 years between them, I was not present for much of my son's childhood for a lot of the time but in recent years he has given me love and respect. My daughter is 18 and I am her rock, her mother rejected her at around 11 or 12 and I have fulfilled both roles since. My acceptance of being a good parent is from compliments paid to me about my daughter by good friends that do not speak in platitudes.
I accept those and feel empowered by the reactions both of my children now give me.
Net result is I am a very content and happy person.
My daughter Claire, 29, writes me beautiful, loving Mother's Day and birthday cards. I save them with the date. Excerpts:
Age 21: "Mom, Thank you for loving me unconditionally even through the hardest times with me. I love and appreciate you so much."
Age 22: "As I'm growing, my appreciation for you has grown more. You have always taken care of my every need and been so affectionate and loving. I admire your strength, independence and intelligence. Thank you so being so patient, understanding and loving with me. You motivate me to stay fit and healthy and take care of myself. I love you, Mom. You are the BEST!"
Age 24: "Thank you for your unconditional love, support and patience. You have never given up on me, and taught me the strength and drive I continue to work on every day."
Age 25: "You're my inspiration and role model. You're drop dead gorgeous and beyond fit and healthy. I'm so happy you had me eat so healthy as a child. I now know how to adapt those food to my everyday life, and they are delicious. I hope as I mature, we can strengthen our relationship and friendship. I love you so much, Mom! Thank you for everything."
Mother's Day gift from Claire, 23. She made this collage on her Iphone.
Claire, 29, and Matt's, 34, wedding in September 2018 at Lake Chelan, WA.