I totally know how u feel. I grew up in catholic school all my life and some of its bs has been instilled in my brain. I still go to a catholic school and a few weeks ago the whole class did the sign of the cross before class started and I instinctively did it also without even thinking. A few seconds later I couldn’t believe what I had done.

For me, it took a long time to accept my atheism. I left Christianity long before I admitted to myself what I'd been thinking all along. It's difficult to relinquish the ingrained teachings. It's a process.

The fact that you "caught yourself" tells me you're already on a path to acceptance . Whether it's prayer or a "spiritual" change, I think many of us can relate to this.

No still have old habits be patient

I imagine this is just about a lack of confidence, we all feel. We all doubt ourselves and rarely believe we can manage the tough times. I have heard Christians say 'God does not send you more than you can handle'. I change this to 'I have managed so far, I have this, I am capable and I am strong'....so are you.

Great question, 1EarthLovingGal! Rest easy, you're perfectly normal! I was raised a Christian, and I likewise occasionally caught myself starting to pray for the first 9 months or so after I left the faith at age 22 some thirty years ago now. It doesn't mean that you are relapsing into belief, and it certainly doesn't mean you are sliding into mental illness. All it means is that old mental habits take awhile to die off. And exactly how long that while is going to last will vary from person to person and will also vary with how stressful one's life is at the time that one stops believing in god/s.

But the less you worry about the occasional accidental prayer, the sooner the nonsense will peter out on its own. Be kind to yourself! The hard work of dissolving the bonds of religion has already been done. The remainder is just a mop-up operation. Best wishes!

People who were as children indoctrinated into a cult (all religions are cults, some are just larger and have political power)will respond in the way they were molded into responding. It is harder to break the mold when the indoctrination took place when they were children. As for schizophrenia being in the family that is the "risk gene" which only means being "at risk" if you have that in your genes. Growing up I used to tell people that talking to myself was the only way I could get an intelligent conversation.... FYI your personality seems strong and rational so I doubt you will start hearing any voices. It takes more than just the at risk genes to make you schizophrenic it takes other factors as well.

While I don't believe you are at risk I will say if you do start hearing voices say hi back to yourself for me and then light up and have a good time talking to your best friend....