My ex and I have been growing a lot closer of late. There's been a definite softening in her toward many of the hurts from the past. I never stopped loving her nor her me but we made a lot of stupid mistakes and didn't deal with them correctly. Ultimately, it led to a divorce.
A divorce I didn't want. Regardless of the divorce and hurt feelings I continued to offer my friendship and she accepted it and over the years since we've spent a lot of time together, going on many dates, talking regularly,and just slowly healing and reconnecting.
She's been much more loving recently and called me earlier to suggest we go away for a weekend sometime soon. We hashed out a plan and we'll be taking a weekend trip together in the next three weeks or so.
Why am I sharing this?
Because it's a nice little example of perseverance and letting go of the past and how doing so can renew old feelings that seemed to have died. I could've reacted with anger and thought "Fuck that bitch!" years ago but chose instead to remember why we connected to begin with and why we loved each other enough to get married in the first place.
How will it play out? I have no idea but I do know it was the right choice to learn from past mistakes while letting the past go rather than letting it fester as a bad memory and make me hate someone I actually love.
Kylo Ren said it best in The Last Jedi; "Let the past die. Kill it if you have to." It was a great line from a movie that otherwise sucked balls.
7
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I hope it works for ya’ll.
I tried going back with my first love, it was the second chance we didn’t want to miss.
Long story short, not a good idea. I will always love him, but we can’t share an area code, much less a marriage! In fact, he has eastern NC and I stay in the western half. Love wasn’t the problem.
Maybe it will be different for you!
CarolinaGirl60
Level 8
June 3, 2019
0
About the same here. We are both actually talking, at least about the kids. I know longer feel like I am all alone in raising them. Will we get back together? Very Highly Unlikely .
I've noticed that I can only tolerate her presence for so long.
But as you stated, I've felt for a long time that we didn't handle our problems well. Not at all. I'll forever be sad about it, and disappointed in myself. If you're both getting a 2nd chance go for it. I wish you well!
twill
Level 7
June 3, 2019
0
I applaud you and how you have acted towards your ex wife. This is how civilised people conduct themselves after a divorce, and it’s obvious that the love between you never died completely, on either side. I wish you the best for the future...the chemistry must still be there, so who knows what the future could bring.
Marionville
Level 10
June 3, 2019
2
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