Loving actions are not always reciprocated ... that may be a talk you have to have , in order to plan.

Don't assume anyone will. Plan ahead if you can.

My son picked out my nursing home when he was 12

"You will never be homeless, Mom," my daughter Claire said. "You can always live us (Claire and her husband Matt)."

That was sweet.

It is a very interesting question, as for us we will respond and adapt as necessary with resources available to us.

My sons already promised

I certainly wouldn't count on anyone being able to help...learn what resources are available in your area and know that, more than likely, even if you are quite independent and in good health, there are good people who make a living helping the elderly. The office of aging and even community services have resources.

I think the biggest disappointment for people is believing that their kids will help...many can't...don't put that burden on them.

Don't ever think of yourself as ever being incapable. There are people who are very old and perfectly capable of living independently, not needing any help and then dying in their sleep.

I worry (somewhat) about the same problem. If I'm ever rendered incapacitated I'll need to rely on some friends.