You touch on a good point; one that explains why I don't label myself "atheist", though I am for all intents and purposes. What has been referred to as the "new atheist movement", with their stylized "A" lapel buttons, seems to be characterised by stridency. Not so for those who prefer to be known as agnostic and/or non-theist, so I think that explains the kind and intelligent conversations here.

I have only seen things on reddit incidentally. I never had much impression of how it opperates. But I used to frequent Friendly Atheist for a time, and it was generally on-point and tamped down on name-calling, etc. One can be militant about anything, and to me, when atheists and agnostics start slamming each other over petty semantics issues, it gets to be absurd. I have seen that too many times, from various sites. Seems much more sensible to aim that sting toward more deserving targets, like Pat Robertson and Roy Moore and their ilk.

I actively avoid Reddit. That is one of the worst places to try and have a civilized discussion about anything. You could post about how beautiful puppies are, only to end up fighting for your life from cat trolls.

That being said, there is a tendency to be dismissive and cavalier toward others. Not just toward theists, but other non-theists as well. As an agnostic, I take a lot of flack from atheists for my "inability to make a commitment." Some can't even bring themselves to capitalize God when used as a proper noun.

Atheist often go through many stages in their lives. I love to inform and educate, but I also enjoy ridiculing religion and religious concepts, but I'm careful about my audience. If I am speaking with a thoughtful believe who is sincerely interested in an open discussion, of course I will attempt to answer their questions and to present myself as an educated and informed person. BUT, I am on a lot of atheist pages on FB and most of the comments from religionists, both Christians and Muslims, who have infiltrated those pages, are about condemning atheists to hell and saying that we are both evil and idiots for not seeing the world as evidence for their god. The other issue is that atheists and LGBT people are imprisoned and/or executed in 13 countries. The US discriminates against atheists and LGBT people. Therefore, in addition to the mental illness of religion, its barbaric treatment of those who differ from it is open to ridicule and in no way deserves my respect. Yes, individual people deserve my respect, despite the fact that they support a murderous philosophy and have sanitized it, but the system itself deserves everything I can throw at it. Also, I have been in discussions and debates with religionists, who accuse me of not treating them well. Groups of people around me will confirm that it was not the case. That perception often comes from the fact that they are not winning the debate and their magical thinking is being challenged. For an example, a religionist wants to tell you all about Jesus, as if you have never heard of the Jesus character, but the moment you say that Jesus is fictitious, they claim that you are being disrespectful to them. I will discuss the issues with anyone, but the moment you make it apparent that you support a system that advocates the loss of my rights and.or the loss of my life, then I will respond in a way that is not going to be pleasant. Yes, I'm intelligent and informed, but I am also angry and I have a right to be angry. Also, I am not familiar with Reddit and my comments are generalized for a variety of forums.

My thoughts are that a lot of people who identify as 'atheist' often focus more on being 'against god' rather than for mindful, personal evolution.
If this forum is moderated to stop hatred, thats awesome.