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So my ex just announced the birth of his second child with the teenager he left me for and my mom is gushing over it and the fact that he was born on her birthday. It really sucks to deal with. I mean, it's been what, 5 years since we seperated, and I don't want to get back together or anything but it still hurts, you know? Mom says to get over it, but like, how? How do you stop feeling hurt by the person you have been in love with since you were three years old? The same man who decided that the incompetent toddler he left you for is a better match and then tried to sleep with you again as a SIDE PIECE.

The love I felt for him is dead like the miscarried child he just couldn't bear to have with me, yet could easily have with her, but the betrayal and hurt and loss is something I don't think will ever go away.

LadyAlyxandrea 8 Mar 16

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WTF is wrong with your mother FCS. OMG
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.


Okay I should have mentioned that my mom us a really great person whom I love dearly, and whom I view as my best friend.

I think the thing is, she just doesn't want to see me clinging to a hurtful past, but yes, her way of doing it is crappy. She's not a bad mom and she does acknowledge my feelings, she just doesn't like me sad.

Which I am not anymore. I'm just...frustrated and angry and resentful now lol

I think that your mother is right and I hope that you are able to find that something that allows you to break away and put him completely behind you.


It sounds like you weren’t too happy with him to begin with, so good riddance.

As for your Mom, I’m sorry, but that’s a bitch move, to choose an ex over her daughter. My Mother did something similar to me (believed my ex’s story about me stealing from him, and cheating on him—in reality, he was on Meth and so paranoid he kidnapped my dog. He was known for his drug use, so it was an even harder blow, when she told me she believed his story.), I didn’t talk to her for a few years over it. Family might be a blood connection, but we don’t have to put up from abuse from them. You need to stand up for yourself and let her know you won’t subject yourself to her indifference of your feelings and mental well-being. Grief is an individual process, and betrayal mixed in, makes a more difficult recovery. One day you’ll wake up to realize how that pain is gone, it will have dulled to a faint memory.


Ok not your Mom's finest moment?

Also he sounds like a heel. It still smarts I'm sure - but sounds like you escaped what would have been a lousy relationship.


That kinda hurt and betrayal would be hard to get over. And impossible to forgive


There was a song out a few years ago that I kind of identified with .
Called " Just someone I used to know" I think it was an Australian group.

Somebody I used to know yeah I know that song. Now it's stuck in my head lol

Mine too... lol


Sometimes there will always be hurt. Minimize it , get away from it, right? Your mom, well she's just insensitive. As is mine. I guess there will always be a little hurt. Try playing a Cure album. Take it head on, absorb it, let it torture you and then dispose of it. Get up and walk again

twill Level 7 Mar 16, 2018

Oops. I showed my crazy.

Perfectly understandably!

That's not "crazy". Your mother is being callus. You were very in love with this guy, so the things he does will still affect you emotionally on some level. You wanted something with him that he's now sharing with someone else....How would you not be upset? The pain itself will fade in due course and I'm sure you know all the cliche methods to ease it in the meantime; but anyone who says to just "get over it" is ignorant and doesn't understand how relationships operate.

Um, no. Your mom has some issues though.

Crazy makes us good. Or it correlates, at least

@Ersomething whenever I go off on little tangents like this she says "hide your crazy"

@LadyAlyxandrea fuck that! Swing the crazy around like a baseball bat!

@JILost I appreciate everyone's understanding. I like to think "if I could love him THAT much for 24 years, I can't wait to see how much I can love the right man for the rest of my life". In a way it inspires me. It did have a good part to it. It made me realize that I am worth so much more than that, and I take pride in the fact that he, who used to have a fan club, has gotten saggy and sad, while I have only just started evolving into a much more beautiful me lol. Still, having this kind of depressing baggage certainly doesn't make me all that attractive I know. I guess it still kinda controls me, using it as motivation to be better than I was, and keeping me from really putting effort into relationships.

@LadyAlyxandrea Don't minimize your feelings, it can skew your radar later on.
I hope I always have my girl's back. Whenever anyone so much as tweaks her the scorecard comes out and I put my eye on them. I'll choose the side of a bf/spouse of hers on a cold day in hell unless she's truly mistaken, which to date her instincts are spot on. I let her have her feels, "squishing" can mar a girl's gut instincts.

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