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Is it okay to pretend to love someone if you're up front about it?

and just to clear things a little bit, no I have no pretense with anyone and have no designs in that direction. I did make another comment in the post here which might explain the question.

hankster 9 Aug 14

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42 comments (26 - 42)

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Someone terminally ill that wants to be loved is an example where it's OK to pretend IMO, as long as u can keep it up until they pass. I couldn't see a person who isn't terminal wanting someone to pretend so it wouldn't be something I would do with someone unless it was a case like terminal illness.

jorj Level 8 Aug 15, 2019

You are ambiguous here.

ambiguity is the best policy.


Shit. I certainly hope so!


If you care enough to be up front about it I would say love is already in play.


mostly, it's a bogus question, y'all made some very reasonable comments. a post earlier set me to considering how some relationships seem like a magazine article. how love can be commercialized or utilized say to gain fortune or fame or political influence. seems to me like it's probably happening all the time.

we could ask, "is it okay to allow somebody to pretend to love you for economic or political gain?

We first have to define love, which can't be done. But it can be explained.
Love is all about pleasure and we gain pleasure by tantalising our senses and thus our mind. But pleasure may also be gained by sharing, empathy. The pleasure you gain comforting something in distress for example. So "love" is both directly pleasuring your own self or extending it to others, sharing. If you miss something, you loved it as it gave you pleasure.
Sorry to sound all free love hippy shit, but it's the subject matter.
So your scenario, if both parties share their time and gain pleasure by doing that, love is in play. If it's not pleasurable then it's not love. Agree with you many "love" for material gain/ comfort which is an arrangement rather than a relationship.
Clear as mud πŸ˜‰


Its ok to say 'I like you, but don't love you' ... that is being upfront and not pretending


Why on earth would you DO that? You're just talking heartbreak for someone.

I would not. anyway pretending to love someone has got to be an awful lot of work. I'm way too lazy for that stuff.


It sounds fake and I would rather have authentic love than pretend love. That's me. Sounds like a recipe for heart break and suffering.


Let’s hope she is pretending to.


Two consenting adults. I'm certain worse things have happened. (But you need to be honest about it. I doubt too many people on the receiving end of faux-love would stay interested.)


the only way you could pretend but the other person already knows would be if you are deliberately acting, so why? Trying to con a third person?

for the camera so to speak.


up-front meaning saying, "I know I act like I love you, but I really don't"...?


@hankster reminds me of "The Girlfriend Experience"...


If someone told me they were pretending..... that would be the last time they said a word to me. Period. End of contact. To me it's a great dishonor to them and personally I would cut that person from my life forever. Which isn't a difficult thing to do with my personality.


There’s different kinds of love. Logically we should love everyone. There’s no need to be deceptive about your feelings unless you are young and horny. In that case anything goes. Might as well jump into the fire.


Not really be honest FWB is fun

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