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I was on duty last night in the Hospice House. There were only 4 patients, but they kept us busy. This is not a bad thing, because it makes a 12-hour shift fly by. Let me tell you, however, nothing reminds you more pointedly of your own mortality than taking care of 4 dying people who are all younger than you are.

AuntieM 4 Mar 18
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18 comments

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Thank you for all you do. Hospice care has been human care in my experience. I haven't worked in this area, only been a bystander but it rather changed my outlook on death. I understand better the process of dying and the options available. And how yes, it's a sad thing for families to go through, but for the person actually doing the dying, (I might not have the right words, I know that deaths are unique as individuals, bear with me,) I guess I expected the process of dying and death to be awful and it really wasn't.

A big thank you to great hospice workers out there.

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I have not thought deeply about my own mortality--I avoid it. At this stage of my agnostic atheism, death is scarier now than when I believed in an afterlife. I don't try to dissuade believers, as I want to let them have the comfort of their fantasy.

Sorry to hear that. I have found that fully accepting the biological fact of birth and death have freed me to live much more in the moment. No deity connection has given me the peace of mind that I have now. I hope you are able to find your balance and peace.

@AuntieM Can you recommend anything that might lead me down that path?

@harveygbr it has been a gradual process for me over quite a few years. Working in hospice has been a factor, I think, making me face reality. One item that has helped me shift my views is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The brief one-page condensation was my intro, and you can find that here, [thepolyman.com] (sorry, it wouldn't do a clickable link). It says it's from the Toltec "religion", but I found it to be religion-free and inward-looking. Best to you.

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Yes, having had three young Deaf friends die prematurely put a very different slant in life.

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My daughter is an RN and works in the hospice field. It's a little different for her, though; she doesn't work in a hospice facility per se, she goes to people's homes.

marga Level 7 Mar 19, 2018

Good for her! I used to do that, too, and loved it. Helping people stay in their homes is a wonderful service. As a "resource" staff member, the in-patient facility works well for me now.

1

As a five year AML survivor I totally understand.

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Respect

2

Don't know if I could do what you do. Wrestling with my own mortality right now not sure if I could repeatedly face other's.

Warm wishes for you in your struggles. Know you're never alone.

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My mum worked for the elderly and the ones who were very ill and leaving in a box rather than moving home or up. Ialways thought that myself and that ill see maybe very old people when/if Ibecome very old but Idont want to now. my mum has become almost these older people ie 86 two heart attacks and Ican just tell its had a big impact on her and she really doesnt want to be in a home herself.

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Thank you for what you do. I lost several people and we stayed home without hospice. Hugs.

And yes, watching changes everything.

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I can imagine.

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Hospice is the most caring part of health care. It's the place where health care becomes human caring. Thanks for doing what you do.

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I hear you

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That is sad..and thanks for being there. I am about to help my brother decide on a hospice for him..

Blessings to you with your efforts to help your brother. I lost my big brother in '05, so I can relate.

@AuntieM no need for blessing..but your thoughts are apprieciate..

@Charlene Oh honey, my blessings are along the lines of the Village Wise Woman! I'd have been burned at the stake in a previous time...

3

That's scary. We had a neighbor when we lived in Kansas that their son ended up in hospice when he was about 10. He was born with hyperplastic left heart syndrome, and then had a stroke when they tried to fix it and just had problems all his life. He actually recovered and left hospice then. He passed when he was 19. Hospice work is tough, you have my thanks and admiration.

Now in the twilight of my nursing career (46 years!), hospice is what resonates best with me.

@AuntieM wow, I am IMPRESSED! 46 years at anything is a long time.

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It never bothered me or had me considering my own mortality. I don't work in Hospice on a consistant basis so maybe that makes a huge difference. Thank you for doing such worthy work.

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I worked at a Hospice for a couple of years. It was total opposite from my expectations. I thought these people would be sitting around feeling sorry for themselves (gloom and doom). However, I found them to be joyful and positive. They gave me so much more then I could ever give back and it taught me a lot.

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I've had a couple clients with terminal diseases. But we're required to try to teach anyone under 18 communication skills until they die.

Something of an exercise in futility with a kid with total paralysis who is Deaf, or with a body that doesn't have a Neocortex to learn.

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You're doing good work. My Dad went to hospice and I can't tell you how much I appreciate everything you do.

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