@daylily I don't think people get to tell you how you're supposed to feel.

Thanks for not reading my post

@lerlo actually did you said attitude wasn't curing health problems recovery from cancer, resolution of limb repair all directly attributable to patient attitude

@lerlo for recovery when you give up so does the body

@daylily sorry Havnt had my coffee yet

The American style of false positivity is a gross perversion of this. It is dismissive and disrespectful of people who are suffering. It encourages everyone to act like everything is wonderful and sweep everything under the rug that make people uncomfortable.

Recovering takes the will and strength to do so. For some that is blissfully ignorance. For some it is anger and spite. For some it is quiet fortitude. Being dismissive of negative thoughts, especially when people are grieving ( like when dying or in a life changing health crisis) is cruel and inappropriate. It completely ignores their mental wellbeing.

One reason people might have better outcomes in recovery is that you get better care when you're nicer to caregivers. It's a phenomenon I have noticed in long term care that infuriates me and will be the thing that eventually ends my lucrative career as an LTC CNA. Healthcare workers are not very sympathetic toward people who don't fall into line and be happy and thankful and doesn't question the status quo.

@MsAl or you do the things necessary recover like eat physical therapy and push yourself did research in this for my physiology paper

@MsAl what is a LTC CNA

@bobwjr I did as well. I didn't finish my degree though and now I'm a nursing assistant in a longterm care. I witness it on a daily basis. I do direct care with people who are unable to do it themselves anymore and are often close to death. It just doesn't sit right with me when everyone insists they smile and be positive through it all right up until they die. People get offended when residents are not kind and thankful all the time when they are scared, in pain and grieving. Understandable mental health responses, underlying issues and regular grieving are routinely belittled in the name of positivity and it makes me angry.

@bobwjr Certified Nursing Assistant, Long Term Care

@MsAl ok retired P.A.did research at johns Hopkins

@bobwjr So do you believe that insisting people repress negative emotions is healthy? That's what I see on a working level with people.

I didn't go to John's Hopkins but I have spent a good deal of my life doing bedside care and dealing with the politics of nursing staff.

I come from a neurodiverse background and it troubles me to see nonconformers so easily dismissed.

@MsAl most of my life in healthcare too when I did air combat rescue in Vietnam anger to fight death was paramount to survival and living . my research in physiology showed that pushing to recover from limb re attachment was crucial. Nonconformers I don't dismiss your work shows empirical data but is not all encompassing. I use empirical data also but tempered with education in the human body. The mind body link is real that explains placebo effect

@bobwjr My problem is only with the forced polite cheerfulness aspect of it. People get their "grit" from different places. Mind body link and placebo effect are great and should not be ignored.

I would be interested to see empirical data on the effects of dismissing mental health concerns of veterans after they have survived the immediate crisis. The effects their negative emotions not having a place in polite society or even in regular healthcare settings outside of specific mental health appointments. I wonder if it would show increased suicides or other negative consequences?

I'm not disagreeing completely. I think the "cheerful" trend is somewhat of a new thing and didn't exist in this form during Vietnam.

@MsAl check out various vet suicide hotlines there is a l lot of vet suicides from Vietnam and recent mid eastern wars a very large concern my former organization SAPA has dealt with this we don't do fake cheerfulness just bitter realization.

@MsAl there were several films post WWII dealing with amputation and attitude and recovery

@bobwjr like I said I don't disagree with you. The modern interpretation of positive attitudes helping recovery is false cheerfulness and the expectation that patients reciprocate. Also dismissing descenters with a bunch of canned reactions with endless statistical evidence which may or may not apply to them as an individual. Its distasteful and disrespectful.

@bobwjr So I came close to buying the farm several years ago when I had cancer. What you're saying is that if I had died, it would have been my fault for having a bad attitude? That's a crock of BS. Every single list I've seen entitled "Things You Don't Say to Someone with Cancer" includes the admonition: DO NOT TELL THEM TO BE POSITIVE. You try to be upbeat and happy when you're on chemo and radiation, your hair has fallen out, you're sick as a dog, with wires and tubes hanging out of your body and you don't know if you're going to live or die.

@TheoryNumber3 been there also just not cancer liver shutdown from bad B/P drug got mad,pissed off you are not going to kill me survived despite all my DR's not expecting me to live 3 months and getting fluid tapped from my abdomen every 3 weeks . That and knowing how to take care of myself , by myself alone

@bobwjr Bravo!!!

Apparently you didn't read my post

@lerlo actually, I did read your post... Just because you dismiss the affects of a positive attitude doesn't mean others will also...

@Cutiebeauty "Those of you blaming all problems on attitude need not respond, thanks."

@lerlo OK. Point taken..

Those grapes were probably sour anyway.

@skado Of course, not really me , given happy genes

I've known some people who are happy and cheerful all the time... but when they snap, take cover. It's ugly.