I would use this as an opportunity. Throw in a nice jab. In front of a few people, ask him if he is still selling to the family.

I've skipped out of family functions for lesser reasons. However if it's important I might make a 30 minute appearance and either say I haven't been feeling well and I should go or say I'm not comfortable being around so and so (to those who would understand) and go. And who knows maybe he won't even show. I've rarely opened up to people about my anger or disapproval, most of the times I did I regretted it, the whole walking a mile in someone else's shoes thing. With the drugs part sounds like both your half uncle and your sister have a drug problem and they've both made bad choices. It also sounds like you've forgiven your sister, and maybe your sister and mom have forgiven your half uncle so maybe you should consider forgiving him as well if for no other reason than to find peace and not feel estranged from the family. If not your forgiveness then maybe he might warrant your sympathy, if not your pity. As for the other stuff, you've described half my family but they're family so what can you do.

is there a way to go and still avoid him? can you go and be cold to him without starting a fight? if the answer to one or both of those questions is no, then don't go. if the answer is yes, then think about it and decide whether the tension is worth it; it depends on how much you want to see the other family members. but don't pretend with him. don't give him an inch. he sounds like the kind of guy who would then take a mile.

g

That's a very unfortunate situation. I have had troubles with my family in the past, and all I can say is there is no right answer, and ultimately, no one can tell you what to do.

If he knows about how you feel about him, that might help but not if he's the confrontational type. If it's that bad, then getting help from someone outside your family may be the best answer, even if just to eliminate conflict.

If there are enough people at the cookout, it might dilute the issue by making it easy to get away, but otherwise I wouldn't risk it.

I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to go. Don’t tell your family why you will not attend they need to know. Stick to your beliefs and stand tall.

It’s not worth it! He sounds way to out there. I don’t think you should lie.

Personally I wouldn't go and I wouldn't feel the slightest bit bad about it. Life is too short to put up with shit from anyone... Especially family.

However... If you DO go... I'd feel free to speak your mind and you may want to tell your other family members that is on the table if you show up!

I'd just go somewhere else...maybe a park by the lake or ocean with a beautiful view of the city...

You are not unreasonable for not wanting to go... seems the bulk of my fam members are similar to your uncle minus the flat earth and selling drugs bit... and I still go and see the loonies XD