I think about this occasionally:. There's something I apparently radiate that repels unwanted attention. Unfortunately, it also repels /wanted/ attention. I know, I know, I should consider myself lucky but a, I'm not an introvert; and b, it baffles me that when I'm out with other people, strangers will talk to the people I'm with but not even acknowledge my existence. I just can't wrap my brain around it.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I am very introverted, but apparently approachable, people talk to me way too much. I am overly conscious of men being out of line with women, so I am totally the opposite, hence always in the friend zone, always one of the girls. Reminds me, am visiting one of the girls from work for coffee this morning and woke to email requests from 3 other female friends this morning to meet up in the next few days. Always the friend, never the lover.
Rugglesby
Level 8
Mar 20, 2018
0
I spent many years wondering just that & it cost me much, in self confidence. Eventually I realized that I was better off consentrating my time & thoughts on the people in my life that I mattered to. The better I got at relating to these people, the more others started to see the value in my friendship, & the better my self respect became. I hope this helps some, mostly be proud of the person you've become & you'll attract those that appreciate you for you.
bossaxel1
Level 4
Mar 20, 2018
0
Ask your friends to give you some honest feedback. Eye contact? Facial expressions? Hygiene?
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Mar 20, 2018
1
My friends are as baffled by this as I am.
I'll admit I probably don't do the eye contact thing as much as people seem to want, because I find it uncomfortable and creepy, and because, since I'm hard of hearing, I'm looking at their mouths, instead, so I can lip-read.
Could it be bad breath or body odor?
nicknotes
Level 8
Mar 20, 2018
0
Blimey, I hope not. Like a lot of people with Body Dysmorphophobia, I take great pains to be clean and pleasant-smelling.
@memorylikeasieve I hope I didn't upset you....or insult you. But sometimes people can be very fastidious about their oral care and body and due to a physical condition they can have a problem. I used to have an associate who was diabetic...his breathe often had a sickening sweet smell if he was talking to me close up.
Do you WANT people to talk to you? People and animals respond to our energy "vibes."
If you are friendly and outgoing, you'll be the one to jump into the conversations and ask the questions. But if you do that, and people still ignore you, ask ourself if your parents also ignored you. If they did, you may have a built in belief in being overlooked.
One NLP technique is to reimagine childhood trauma the way it should have happened; for example, spending a few minutes imagining your parents looking at your and paying attention to what you have to say. The new emotions of confidence created are real, even if the memory is imaginary.
birdingnut
Level 8
Mar 20, 2018
0
Perhaps they see in you qualities in themselves which they either fear or don't know how to deal with. I know it's not right, but most of society tends to judge a book by its cover. First impressions are not my strong point, either.
Teslacoilsmith
Level 6
Mar 20, 2018
1
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