When I am surrounded by tragedy I am able to turn it off, so I would say it's a choice.

Learned choice, like being a asshole instead of a decent human being

I think I taught my children to be empathetic both by example and by helping them put themselves in the same position of others. For example, my husband wanted to live in the country because he had never lived anywhere else so we ended up in a school system that was attractive to people who moved to the country to avoid busing. It soon became obvious that my daughter was uncomfortable being seen with me when I had a black friend. One day when she expressed that, I told her she was part black but not to tell anyone because they would treat here differently even though she was the same person they had always known. It worked like a charm.

I have known 5 people who were without empathy. They were born this way. All five are sociopaths. One was my best friend for awhile and he discussed it with my sister a few years ago. He told her if he could be another way he would.

Empathy is the ability to understand someone's feelings. It's not an emotion. It can come naturally to those who are more sensitive and intuitive. I teach social skills and empathy is taught in my class. My students are high functioning Autistic teens who have difficulty seeing things from another perspective. I would classify it as a skill. Just like any skill you can choose to use it.

Empathy is the capacity or ability to imagine oneself in the situation of another, experiencing the emotions, ideas, or opinions of that person. Empathy is both innate and taught.

"My friends say I am more empathetic than anyone they know," my daughter Claire, 29, said. As a parent, I strove to be a good role model.

As a family of three, we helped serve Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter. When Claire was a teen, I made her volunteer with me on Make a Difference Day.

Starting at age eight, her father insisted Claire be his assistant at the week-long Art Camp he directed at YMCA Camp. He loves being waited on: a major pain.

"Congratulations, Claire! This is your fifth year assisting at Art Camp," I said when she was 13. "What have you learned so far?"

"I hate kids; they're too noisy," she said. "I have it down to cutting clay." I laughed.

Now Claire and her husband are talking about starting a family.

Empathy is determined by the brain a person is born with. It exists more or less, depending on the individual. From there, one can develop more empathy, or that empathy can diminish based on variables that impact one's life.

The feeling itself is not a choice. How one perceives the need to show empathy, or another's need for empathy, and the actions he or she takes as a result, is a choice.

Neither. It's an innate skill that can be enhanced or left alone. Some people are more artistic. Some are more athletic. Some more aggressive. Some more empathetic. We all have skills, and we and our environment, determine which skills we focus on.