I have been helping a woman extricate herself physically and emotionally from what she felt was an abusive relationship. I moved her stuff into storage and then out again when she found a place to stay after a couple of months couch surfing. This is a meme she created today and shared with a FB group of other women going through similar experiences. What do you think of it?
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I wish the powers-that-be had invented a satire or sarcasm font already... but beyond that it is good.... can I share it with a narc survivor fbook group?
demifeministgal
Level 8
Dec 9, 2019
0
Excellent meme! Reminds me of the unhealthy 10 year relationship I ended 10 years ago. All the same elements. Once you realize why you are staying in a volatile and abusive relationship you can get out of it and not repeat it.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Dec 8, 2019
0
Yeah, in 20 years as a prosecutor the only thing I wasn't ever able to make a dent in was domestic violence. However I recently had a breakthrough while on a date with a woman who is the executive director of a domestic violence shelter. She explained how vulnerable women victims are. I told her that my view was that despite any self esteem problems etc., I think people should just be anti-pain. The worst thing that could happen is that the next guy will abuse you but then you just leave him too. But then she told me that her father was mentally abusive to her mom...but he was a good guy. Then it hit me! We've been coddling the victims. Anyone who can be mentally or physically abusive IS NOT A GOOD GUY! I think it goes a little deeper than the meme (but her meme is extremely important). There is no social redeeming value to a person who would treat someone else like that. He doesn't love you and he's not a good person. There are no excuses. There needs to be a zero tolerance policy that is taught to kids early on that there is no justification. If your mom or dad abuses the other, it is not right and while they may be your parent they are not good people. The cycle of abuse needs to stop.
lerlo
Level 8
Dec 8, 2019
1
@ToolGuy it's coddling and we treat them like they are too fragile to handle the truth...this person they think loves them doesn't and they need to be shown that with examples of something they hold dear like maybe their dog. If you ask them if someone hits a dog what do you think of them? Or If someone screams at an old lady what do you think of them? Whatever situation, person or thing they value, ask them what they would think about a person that hurts them either physically or emotionally. I'm pretty sure they'll say it's horrible and they wouldn't tolerate it. Then you show them how it's no different than what their "loved one" is doing to them. I think while the victims need to be shown some kindness and sympathy of course, they also need to be shown that they have stand up for what's wrong and be shown that what is being done to them is wrong and the perpetrator does not care for them the way they think they do or they wouldn't do it.
@ToolGuy Based on how this woman described how the victims in her facility were treated, an appropriate word, "to treat tenderly; nurse or tend indulgently; pamper:" Perhaps in your practice you did the same. I think a new approach is necessary because obviously the old approach hasn't worked to end the cycle.
She should correct the spelling of "faut" to "fault".
BitFlipper
Level 8
Dec 8, 2019
0
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