I'm curious what folks think about the "Rule of 7." I ran across this idea recently, that one should not date anyone younger than half their age plus 7. No, I'm not looking. Experiences?
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You should be with someone where there is mutual attraction & respect, period! It is damned hard just finding That, do not add stupid arbitrary "rules" !
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Dec 27, 2019
2
I met a 48-year-old woman who was specifically looking for a man in his 60s. All of her recent boyfriends had been my age or older. Sadly, I didn't make the cut.
BitFlipper
Level 8
Dec 26, 2019
0
Well there are women and men who do the big age difference thing - and gladly?
It brings to mind a college friend whose Dad was 74 and Mom was in her 40s and it worked for them.
And it's not always a money thing. It can just be what appeals to them. (But granted you better plan on losing your spouse if you are the younger one and plan accordingly and that's hard).
May-December romances have always been a thing. And it's not always someone being taken advantage of.
I don't think it would ever suit me. I can look at someone half my age plus 7 and think "Gee that looks nice" - but I sure don't want to bring them home and try to hold daily conversations - because there'd constantly be that gap of understanding. (They'd never get my wonderful sarcastic references and I wouldn't get theirs either). Plus the differences in energy levels? 
But some folks relish that difference. And I can see where that could have appeal.
I guess if you're going to do that - know that there'll be those differences.
You know we have an older women - younger men group on site right? 
RavenCT
Level 9
Dec 26, 2019
2
Like Sarek (born 2164) and Amanda Grayson (born 2210). Although the emphasis is often placed on their two different cultures (which relates to some of my comments earlier in this thread), there was also a big age difference of 46 years.
@bingst I think Vulcans were longer lived too? So that helped even things out a bit.
I know there is an entire culture of people who look for brides from overseas who are significantly younger. And it's not "just" about sex.
I recently read an article on the phenomenon if I find it again I'll post it. It was fascinating.
There have been times in our own culture where much older men married much younger women because of course - men's fertility goes on a lot longer. So the first wife died (back in the day) a replacement was sought. Age wasn't a consideration.
I think most folks are a bit more choosy than that now - but it's a fascinating history.
Wait...
If this silly formula were any way applicable, then wouldn't one side of the relationship following the rule mean that the other will always violate the rule?? Without exception?? Why, no one would ever hook up again!!!
LatentumCattus
Level 6
Dec 26, 2019
2
I will soon be 63, so (63/2)+7 = about 39. That is just a year younger than my daughter. Not sure how I would explain that, or what on earth I would have in common with someone that young. They are in a completely different place in life.
I think plus or minus 5 years is more like it, as a rule of thumb. It's hard enough to find a good match without burdening it with a big age difference. Of course that's not to say it never works for anyone, ever. But I wouldn't think the odds would be terrific. I am married to a 60 year old and no regrets at all. I think it's vampire-like the way men use young women to make themselves feel younger. And I think it generally backfires. I used to live in Phoenix, and a day didn't go by that I didn't see balding, pot bellied old coots in a convertible with a woman half their age next to them. Never envied them even a little. To each their own.
mordant
Level 8
Dec 25, 2019
2
Sounds like a formula for being a cougar or a lecherous old man.....
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
Dec 25, 2019
0
I think that's more like don't date anyone younger than 18. 
Sounds arbitrary and silly.
bingst
Level 8
Dec 25, 2019
2
1of5:
Most relationship rules are.
Does it really, though? For example a 60 year old man and a 37 year old woman ... What on earth would they talk about or have in common? I could see HIM being attracted to her for sex, but find it difficult to believe a woman of that age would be physically attracted to a man that age. Also, she is still working on her career at that age and he is likely retired or soon to retire. ... Just such totally different places in life, I just can't see how it could be satisfying to either party for more than a few weeks at best.
@JustAskMe That might well be the case, but it might not apply in all cases. Consider if these two are from entirely different cultures. I'm not saying age doesn't matter, of course it does. A large age difference within a culture are much like differences between people of different cultures. It's a matter of how one views an age difference. So it depends a great deal on the individuals involved, and arbitrary age rules are just that, arbitrary.
@bingst I really don't agree at all with the idea that a big age difference is similar to cultural differences, or that "rules" (your word) about age difference is arbitrary. There is a maturity and experience level that a person who is 50 has that makes most not want to associate with those who are 30. I can't stand "kids"! And for me, that means anyone under 40. ... It's not a matter of music and movies (that culture would effect) but a matter of maturity and experience and probably "teacher" "student" type thing, I would not care to be on either side of a "teacher / student" romance. Mostly due to a huge gap in the power dynamic.
@JustAskMe I realize I didn't express the cultural difference similarity as well as I could have. I didn't mean that it's substantively similar, I meant that in general one's approach could be similar. If one is open to befriending people from a different culture, one makes an effort to learn and understand aspects of that culture, from things in general to thing specific to the person one is befriending. If one is open to befriending people much older or much younger, there's a similar learning process that takes place, even within the same culture.
@bingst At the end of the day, "age makes no difference" is just a mans way of justifying sleeping with women whom they would otherwise have nothing to do with. I'm sure some women are the same way, but the point is, generally age doesn't matter, but if you want to fuck young, pretty things because they are young and pretty, have the integrity to admit it. ... (Almost none, male or female ever do.) THAT is my point.
@JustAskMe Umm... again, back to the original post, it was general, not about men dating younger women. Everything I've said has been in the general sense. Nobody has mentioned this being strictly about fucking or hook-ups, but about dating. And sure some people say that age doesn't matter for the reason you point out, and for other reasons.
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