I understand. Once I grew up, I decided that I was tired of trying to do or be what others expected of me. I have always pushed on things that were important to me, but understood that "you can't fight city hall head-on." In the Army I was promoted 3 times in one year, and at the same time wound up on the CO's "eight-ball list: (that 10 percent that causes 90 percent of the trouble).
As a high school teacher, I led a movement that got my principal fired. When I was in grad school and a member of an all-male educational leadership fraternity, I nominated a female student to become the first female member member. I was also one of a small group of top graduate students who pushed for change and even forced instructors to change the focus of their courses to provide us what we thought we needed.
When I established the first multi-district educational staff development center in Kansas, my boss wanted the center program to move in one direction. I did not agree and thought that it was to be fully productive and fully supported by the participating school superintendents it needed to move in an entirely different direction. My boss proposed that the center be disbanded and that I be laid off. I went out and met with each superintendent and asked each what he would like to see the center do and proposed some ideas. In a meeting of the superintendents, my boss proposed that the center be closed. The superintendents voted 11 to 1 to continue the center and give me a raise. We went on to receive both state and national recognition for several programs designed and implemented.
A section chief in the Kansas Department of Education told me that I would have to discontinue a highly successful program I had started and was operating and replace it with a program she had proposed. l said to myself, "Like hell I will!" I mounted a statewide wave of opposition that was so successful that the State Superintendent of Education called me to a meeting with him in which he asked what could be done to resolve the matter.I told him' he agreed and directed that the changes be made. Ad, there were more instances.
Live and let live is perhaps the most misguided and possibly evil sentiment ever put to paper.
In politics it is call "appeasement" and has been shown by historical precedent to never work and to achieve nothing other than to give would be dictators time to build up armies, plot invasions and ultimately kill those advocating for the policy of "live and let live"
"go along to get along" is to be an accessory during and after the fact and
"Don't make waves" come from a medieval Christian parable of a bishop who had a vision of Hell where all the damned souls were buried up to their collective necks in a lake of liquid excrement forever doomed to stay absolutely still, lest they "make waves" and force everyone else to swallow the sloshing dung.
My philosophy is "always speak your mind and apologize only when necessary." For instance, I have said on Facebook things that (unbeknownst to me at the time) were transphobic.A friend of a friend called me out, but they did it peacefully because they sensed it was a joke. I listened, I learned and I apologized (and no, I don't remember what the joke was.) Another time, shortly after Charlottesville, I made a remark about those "very fine people" and a Trumper friend of a friend got offended. No apology necessary there.
So which one would you choose (don't need to answer). BTW, my late partner did not understand why so many people were afraid of speaking their mind. She did all the time but did it in a way no one ever got upset. For some of us (like myself) it becomes more about the messenger than the message.