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Are you a jealous person ?

Wildgreens 8 Mar 28
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2

I can be, and this will probably piss off a few people, but I think that anyone who says they aren't at all jealous is full of shit.
You might as well tell me you never lie, or masturbate.

Jealousy is naturally occuring, yes but it's also something that pops up in sibling relationships. Do we encourage that in our kids,believing it means they really love us? No. We soothe their fears and help them work past their jealousy. It's a biological leftover that serves no worthwhile purpose any longer. One sibling isn't likely to die because their counterpart/s take some attention away from them.

Similarly a relationship needn't die simply because someone new has entered the picture. Why throw out something and someone you've spent so much time building a relationship with?I admire the way some poly people treat jealousy, like a malady to be gotten over rather than an integral component of a relationship.

Do you limit your circle of friends for fear that someone will be liked better than you are? That would be juvenile

In the context of modern society, I see no benefit in fostering jealousy in interpersonal relationships. If you've got any instance in which jealousy has made someone happier, healthier or more secure, please share.

@Blindbird The post didn't ask for a specific context, only if we were a jealous person.
As you stated, jealousy is naturally occurring. It may be minimalized but not totally eliminated, just like any other emotion.
I suppose it may be possible for a sociopath or psychopath to pull off.

@Paul628. As I stated, I think its entirely possible(and healthier) for a healthy person to work through. Again if you can show me some instance or way in which jealousy is beneficial,I'd be happy to hear it. The post may not have asked for context however context is important in stating my opinion on this AND nothing exists independently of context. Trying to separate a concept or feeling from its context is silly and unrealistic.

@Blindbird Why do you insist on me giving you an instance of jealousy being beneficial when I implied nothing of the sort?

I only stated that it's an emotion that everyone has, whether good or bad it's there.
If only for a fleeting moment we all have pangs of jealousy.

@Paul628 and my point is that its maladaptive and can be worked through so as not to cause trouble. Its the same as any other emotion or behaviour. If it benefits you, by all means keep up with it. If on the other hand it causes you pain, problems in your relationships or unnecessary stress, why hold on to it?

@Blindbird Again, I didn't state that is was good or bad either way.

Even if it is an extremely short pang of jealousy what you choose to do with it is up to you.

Whatever way you want to deal with it is irrelevant, my point is that it is there and you can't completely eliminate it.

9

I'm far from jealous, I'm comfortable with myself.
I was told that usually jealous people are insecure.

they are

7

Nope! There's no one on earth I'd rather be than me. If my romantic partner shows interest in someone else, that is fine, as they likely have wonderful and admirable qualities too. I can usually also admire her too, if she is known to both of us.

There is a point however, that they may cross a line, shattering an intimacy commitment or hiding their activity, lying about an indiscretion, etc., and then it's still not jealousy, but simply time to cut him loose and let her (or they) have him.

I'm a prize, but not for lying cheaters. If a fella can't act honorably wiithin our relationship, then he loses out. The other gal/s can be the "winner/s" and that is fine with me.

7

From my experience, i only feel "jealousy" when i don't get what i need from a relationship. Since no one is a mind reader, if I'm feeling jealous then I need to speak up & communicate my needs. If this person either can't meet that need, ignores my need, or can't understand my need & the whys, its my responsibility to decide whether or not this need is make or break. Do i need to 1) communicate more effectively, 2) reconcile my need won't or can't be met 3) determine if this is a relationship i can stay in or trade in for something different.

If the person i'm with decides the grass is greener elsewhere & I'm not worth negotiating with regarding an open relationship, I just remember this: he may not value me but someone else very well may. Its better to be alone & happy than together & miserable.

5

No, I would never fight over a man's affections as I think it's very immature and I have more confidence in myself than that. I believe if the person I'm with doesn't want me, then someone else will.

5

Depends on what you mean. Yes, I get jealous when it comes to genuine human connection, but I don't believe in acting on that jealousy. If someone is into someone else more than me, then they should go be with that person, not settle for me because of this idea of "commitment" or "obligation." And I don't get jealous about sex; envious, but not jealous.

Concur!!

The reason why I was asking, it's because my friend Shelby makes it very clear to her husband, that he better not look at anyone else but her.
She's extremely jealous for no reason. She has a wonderful husband. They have been married for two years.

@Wildgreens yeah, that’s a red flag. Then again, that’s the norm now days.

5

Who are all these people commenting on your post? How well do you know them? I mean, have they commented on your other posts? And have you commented on theirs? I suppose you're planning on replying to their comments, aren't you?

Lol, good example 🙂

5

Nope.
To me jealously implies some right of posession over the other.
I don't own people.
That's not to say that it is wrong in others, just that that is how my being jealous would appear to me. Of course this is informed by my lack of jealousy in the first place.

I agree with you Rob.

5

no - too much drama associated with it ...

4

No. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity.

Yeap

4

Some jealousy is good. But there's a limit like most things.

I'm jealous of folks who have their kids with them all the time. I get mine on the weekends in the school year and summer break.

Gozer Level 4 Mar 29, 2018
4

yes. of others achievements, posessions, happiness, everything.

4

On a scale from the motionlessness of particles at 0°K to Jealous, I am negative Kelvin.

4
4
4

No. They had sex before meeting me and they will enjoy sex again after we part ways. I encourage my lady friends to go out with other men or women for entertainment or sex or bring them here, they do.
I don't own them, I appreciate our time together. I'm glad they are happy.

4

I used to be a jealous person, but realized that it doesn't do any good. I'm no longer a jealous person.

4

I have been jealous, so might be again. I'm not jealous of my wife; she gives me no reason. If she did, I could live with it because I want her to be happy, but might be jealous. It would change our relationship from monogamous to poly, which is not likely.

4

I’ve got better with time. And now I think if I can’t trust the one I’m with, maybe I shouldn’t be with.

4

Not any more...

4
4

Nope. I'd rather be alone that with someone I can't trust.

3

No, I find that jealousy is a precurser to abuse either mental, physical or emotional abuse. To be jealous is a sign of posesstion, immaturity, lack of self, feelings of inadiquicy, and a lack of self confidence which to me are serious flaws that stunt a ones growth as a person. I believe in the buttefly idium I you love someone set her free if she loves you she will stay.

3

The only reason for jealousy is lack of trust. If you have complete trust in someone, there would be no trigger for jealousy. And if there is a lack of trust, there are bigger issues you should be concerned about.

3

I'm very jealous of people here who are at a higher level than me

@irascible I'm a jealous guy but also a slacker. That is a bad combination

3

Nope. Content with what I have, realized I don't need no mo crap.

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