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If I had it all to do again, I doubt very much I would meet my husband. I loved him dearly but our marriage could not survive his controlling parents. Is there anyone else who, if they had to do it over again would avoid marriage even if it was someone you loved?

misstuffy 7 Mar 30
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31 comments (26 - 31)

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3

This version of me would've left my ex-wife back in the early days when her horrible controlling and neurotic behavior really started rearing its ugly head. But then I wouldn't have my two beautiful daughters, and they're the center of my life, so keeping that in mind it was all worth it.

AS much as I love and wanted kids I am glad we didnt have any together.

2

That is an interesting question. If I could go back and know then what I know now, I would still want to marry my ex-wife, but I would know the sorrows it would bring. I would be distraught because I know what lead to her murder by her new boyfriend. So, would my not marrying her be enough to change the outcome? Or, would I be able to get her to listen so she would not run off with him (she never took my advice, so very doubtful). On the other hand, if I went back in time and had no knowledge of the future, I would definitely marry her again.

What a sad story...that had to hurt deeply! Oh!, if only we could control life?

That is a paradox and you have my sympathies. I had a friend on the race track that was murdered by her boyfriend.

7

I loved the person I thought my ex-wife was. It was fake, and I learned that too slowly. I don't know if I ever really loved her, and that's my fault for only seeing what I wanted to see as much as it is hers.

Our marriage produced two kids though, and I love them more than anything. I would do it all over again.

JimG Level 8 Mar 30, 2018

I am impressed by the last part of your statement! I couldn't do that number again, if my life depended on it!!!

@Freedompath I did love my husband dearly but the fact that he let his parents make life decisions for OUR lives and then decided to get involved with someone who had already broken up another marriage and then went after my husband, and he was more than willing to get involved thinking he could have us both, those things right there would stop me in my tracks. One thing I have learned, sometimes love just is not enough.

@misstuffy I just put that book in the discard box, by a renowned psychologist...'Love is never enough' I learned that lesson, no need to repeat that!

@misstuffy sounds like a lot of 'real' hurt, in that story!

@Freedompath Agreed.

6

I have a different experience. I met the love of my life back in 84 and got married in 85. Over the course of a couple of decades we grew apart. We separated in 2010 and got a divorce in 2011. But we still loved each other. We got remarried in 2012. My regret is that we got a divorce in the first place. But I guess we needed that time apart to realize that we were meant to be together.

Your post is inspiring. We all hope to be in similar kind of relationships.

5

Me!!! Have never been able to figure out how I picked my children's father, for their daddy! Never understand that! However, we are all still alive...I guess there is something to be said for that!

3

Count me in. Or, rather, out.

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