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I am having a hard day emotionally. I think this new medicine is exacerbating my depression, on top of just having a bad day.

It started with my mother yelling at me over stupid shit, half of which isn't even an actual complaint. Then I get to work to be begged by my coworker to come in early tomorrow, which is fine I owe her, she's covering my vacation time.

Then the patient I hate most was admitted. It's not her I hate it's her aggressive and verbally abusive dementia riddled husband who calls every 8 minutes to cuss us out when she doesn't answer.

Then a nurse reported me to the house sup for being 'a snotty bitch' when all I said was 'I can't change my protocol talk to the security director'.

Then I come home and the neighbors who HATE me aren't home, but their giant unsocialized and neglected American bull dog is in the middle of the street snarling at me.

Then I come home and I'm looking for a little understanding but noooooo my mother says "well you have been very agitated and hard to get along with lately". I said "alright yeah I accept that. I have I acknowledge that. But so have you. Can you acknowledge that? Ever since you stopped working and have been home all day every day you do nothing but bitch at everyone else for everything yet you havent done the dishes in a month. Can you acknowledge that?

Oh heavens no of course not "look just because I get mad over tiny shit all the time for no reason except to take my inner anger out on everyone else doesn't mean I'm agitated and hard to get along with"

I just walked away and went to my downstairs apartment. Fuck it.

Sorry I can't be singing and cheerful snow white all the time, you know. It's not like I'm in terrible constant pain all the time or like I'm LOSING MY FUCKING HANDS or anything.

Am I being a little over-emotional? Yeah, probably. I'm scarily introspective and ABLE to acknowledge when I am behaving irrationally and manically. The medicine is probably playing a huge part in it too, but I work six days a week and she barges into my RENTED SPACE and yells at me for a little mess while she HAS NO JOB and can't even clean her kitchen. I think I have a little bit of a right to be angry at the hypocrisy.

LadyAlyxandrea 8 Apr 1
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8 comments

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2

All I got is a heartfelt: "Hang in there."

2

You're working. Paying your bills. Your independent of the bullshit as far as I am concerned. Sling it out or sling it back. Move out if you have to for peace of mind

twill Level 7 Apr 1, 2018
0

Hi! I am not sure that you are talking about psychiatrical medicines. Just in case, consider this : There are recent evolutions in psychiatry, especially in the Scandinavian countries, towards psychotherapy. They give up the allopathic medicines, too toxic, with disabilitating secondary effects. [madinamerica.com] , [cepuk.org] The International Institute for Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal (www.iipdw.com)

”22 October 2017 at 7 p.m.
This autumn a new documentary, “Diagnosing Psychiatry,” will shed light on the scientific career and efforts of Professor Peter C. Gøtzsche in changing the field of psychiatry. It portrays the uphill battle Peter experiences when he, supported by the patients, advocates for a more humane psychiatric practice, with very little use of psychiatric drugs, no forced treatment, and a main focus on psychotherapy.

The film is produced and directed by Anahi Testa Pedersen, an independent filmmaker, who has been working on the project for over four years. It focuses not only on Peter’s work but also on Pedersen’s own reflections and experiences as a mental health patient. etc.” [deadlymedicines.dk] Neuroleptics increase mortality - [deadlymedicines.dk] Music therapy - [facebook.com] There are also nutrition and therapeutical plants to help (tonic, calming etc.). Self-control is a question of self-education and social learning, organization and care. Best regards.

tipi Level 7 Apr 1, 2018

I'm taking an anticonvulsant as an attempt to stop my tremors, but the one I'm trying also has been used for PTSD and anxiety. Unfortunately like with antidepressants it can also agrivate them

@LadyAlyxandrea
The industrial drugs for these conditions have severe side effects.
See: [naturalalternativeremedy.com] (add turmeric)
[thesourcenatural.com] "Biotin: Human study indicates that long-term administration of some anticonvulsants may accelerate biotin catabolism, but the indicators of biotin status conflict (9523856). The anticonvulsants phenytoin (Dilantin®😉, primidone (Mysoline®😉, carbamazepine (Tegretol®😉, phenobarbital (Solfoton®😉, and possibly valproic acid have been associated with reduced blood levels of biotin. This is due to reduced gut absorption of biotin and increased urinary excretion. Testing of biotin blood or urine levels should be considered in individuals using these drugs chronically, and biotin supplementation may be necessary if deficiency is found." etc.
[scielo.br] "Among those medicinal plants are found to possess anticonvulsant activity in animal models and/or folk medicine, include: Abelmoschus angulosus, Allium sativum, Artemisia spp, Cannabis sativa, Cinchona officinalis, Egletes viscosa, Icacina trichantha, Magnolia grandiflora, Plumbago zeylanica and others. However, a recent study with Brazilian Northeastern plants showed proexcellent results for the species Bauhinia outimouta, Rauvolfia ligustrina and Ximenia americana (Quintans-Júnior et al., 2002). In our review 13 Brazilian plants were cited: Acosmium subelegans, Artemisia verlotorum, Centella asiatica, Cymbopogon citratus, Erythrina velutina, Erythrina mulungu, Hippeastrum vittatum, Lanata microphylla, Licaria puchury-major, Lippia alba, Nepeta cataria, Passiflora alata and Xylopia spp."

@Noemi I appreciate your input and your dedication to research however I can't just not take any medicine. I've tried natural organic stuff and honestly it's great for healthy people but for people with real and true problems sometimes naturalistic just does not work

3

Just take care of your mental and physical health first, and your means of survival. And try to ignore all the waste of time bull crap, I know it's hard but only you know what you can stand and can't stand. Love yourself no matter how much effort it takes.

4

Hang it there! I can't say it WILL get better, but hopefully there will be more good days than not.

6

Update my dad had a discussion with her and she apologized

3

It has been a long freaking winter in every way that can be meant. of course you have a right to be angry. That sounded like an unreasonably shitty day to me. I hope that fills your karma quota for craptastic-ness for a while and the next several days bring you some joy.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 1, 2018
2

I don't know how you are working?
And the struggle is very real.

Probably won't be soon. I'm just mostly angry that my mother can't acknowledge that she's also agitated and hard to get along with. She doesn't even realize it, even though some days she will start yelling at me over pointless shit and I'll ask her 'so what are you really upset with?" And she won't answer.

@LadyAlyxandrea She may not really know? Pain makes everything so much harder.

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