I don't mean to be a downer, but I kind of need to just ...vent.

I'm feeling very lonely and I've pretty much come to realize and accept that I'm going be be alone for the rest of my life. I do know 'alone' and 'lonely' are two different things, but with the context of 'alone' being single, it's the same in this regard.

My status is that I do live with my mother, and in the basement, so that stereotype of 'that guy who lives in his mother's basement' hits home a bit too much. However, I have not lived like this my whole life--I've lived away for most of my life. My living arangement now is mainly for my mother--my step father died and she needs the financial and emotional support of not being alone (not to sound weird!!).

I also do not have a car. I do now how to drive, but I hate driving (for various reasons).

These are definitely (understandably) big red lights for most women and I completely get that and I'm only going to be honest about the situation. On the very few (as in, I can count on 2 fingers) instances where a woman has actually texted in the various 'dating apps' that I use, we talk about 'my situation' and feel I'm under fire and have to defend my position. The most recent one actually was ok with both of these issues, but 'red flagged' on the fact that my place was messy. I was very surprised that messiness superceded the 'living with my mother' issue and it bummed me out that she didn't want to talk anymore. It is messy...but my few friends don't have an issue with it and since I would never have a woman over with the intention of well you know, bedding her--for both the reason that is NEVER my intention for a relationship and the fact that it's my mother's place. In retrospect, I suspect that she may have just beeing saying it was the messiness.

I also know that the situation isn't always going to be like this, and it's up to me to change the situation. The thing is, living alone would be very bad for me--both financially and emotionally. I am an introvert--I don't get out much, but I'm also human (I think) and I do need people. Left to my own thoughts...not a good idea.