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I might be too sensitive. I have a coworker and we get along well enough but sometimes she says things in a way that makes me feel like she doesn't like me and she spends our entire shift with her nose in a book, actively ignoring me unless she needs something. Our office is locked so you have to knock and be let in. Today it took a bit of waiting, so I knocked again, louder. When I came in I muttered that it was crazy (talking about the wind) and she snips back "my job is to answer calls not open the door" ....okay?

She just comes across as bitchy half the time, and fine the rest. It keeps me uncomfortable because I feel like if I open my mouth I could either get a joke or an exasperated retort. Because of how our schedules are I can't move shifts or anything, and I feel like I can't talk to my supervisor about it because I've complained a lot to her lately about other stuff and don't want to get on her bad side or be "unwilling to work well with others".

It's frustrating because I no longer enjoy the first half of my shifts (I work 3-11, she works 10-6 and another worker comes on 6-2 so I have her for half and the other for half) idk maybe I should just suck it up

LadyAlyxandrea 8 Apr 3
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7 comments

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1

Yep, just do your job and ignore the sullen one. You’ll feel tons better when you no longer care if she wants to be a decent workmate. Sad. Sorry you have to deal with that.

1

I have this kinda stuff happen to me a lot over the years. Miscommunication. I heard something awful when thats not really accurate. I have been taking the High road on many of these and just going with I did nothing wrong there just having a bad day. Sometimes I just smile and ask " What are we talking about again? I must have missed something".I hope that helps.

1

You might be too sensitive, or she might be a moody, nasty person. From what you've told us, I'd be willing to bet on the latter.

Jnei Level 8 Apr 3, 2018

I appreciate the support

@LadyAlyxandrea I don't like to use the term "bitch" except when referring to a female dog (and, occasionally, as mark of respect for close friends who share the humour), but she sounds like one to me!

@Jnei lol sometimes yes, she is

@LadyAlyxandrea It's the colleagues who are only like that sometimes that are hard work. At least you know where you are with the ones who are horrible all the time!

0

Unfortunately she can conduct herself any way she wants as long as she does her job. Try not to expect back what you put forth. Bring your own book and be happy you can read and not deal with her unfriendliness. Lose any ego that you may have about your own self and why others must like you. Feel the freedom when you no longer care about her. But be nice don't tarnish your soul because of this. Peace Bob

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Unless she does something criminal or dangerous, it is probably best to conduct business cordually and let her learn the culture and rhythm of the office at her pace. Perhaps she will thaw in time.

0

Have you ever caught yourself sniping at someone and, upon walking away, asked yourself who in the heck that was, as it wasn't YOU? Maybe she's having the same kind of thing happen where she is transferring irritation and you are an amenable target.

Ask her directly where the anger is coming from. You both might be surprised at the source and it might not be you. You might actually be helping (or abetting her) by your reaction. Ie; you might be a positive (or a negative) release.

All that said, if it's affecting you negatively, you need to make that clear in discussing this with her.

Note: I have relationships with people where they have permission to just walk up and VENT for being totally frustated at something, NOT me. Granted, it's a reciprocal relationship. It works befcause I know they are not railing at ME, but rather using me as a wailing wall. So, we can remain friends and we both have an outlet. Ie: ask her if she needs a wailing wall and just listen to her. 🙂

I have this terrible luck when trying to air issues in a calm and mature manner in hopes of finding a resolution. I tend to make everything 100 times worse. When people have something they're mad at me about, I appreciate them just saying "hey what you said offended me" or something so I know what I did affected them and not to do it again. However instead people have this fun time of passive aggressively keeping all their upset at me inside until one day they're trying to light me on fire

I think many of us do it. Ironicaly, in hopes of not offending people. There is something to be said for NOT splashing ALL of our emotions all over the place at all times but, I think we go too far and swallow things that will just fester.

Use this as a starting point. Basically admit that you've been letting this fester and realized that in the long run, it won't be healthy for either of you to do so... this way you put the blame on your shoulders and start the conversation off with little or no confrontation.

@Gnarloc she just criticized my diet rudely ugh now I want to say something

Now you know it's not you but her biases. Just let it be. If she's human, she'll realize her mistake and redress it. 🙂

Oh, it's YOUR office too, so, just do your thing. Try not to overtly annoy her (I suspect you aren't) but also realize it's your space and try not to let her step on it either... in fact, you might address it as 'we don't have to be friends but I don't want us to be hostile either'...

1

I would have corrected her. But you know her better then I do.

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