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Memorial day is coming up. I've always decorated family graves not because I think they know about it but because it brings back sweet family memories.When my grandfather and I went to the cemetery, he would fill the trunk of his car with fruit jars all filled with old fashioned climbing roses. The smell would knock you down when you opened that trunk. We only had 3 graves to decorate but he would look around for undecorated graves and give them roses until they were all gone. I have to go because he would want me to even though I know he doesnt know I am doing it.

Does anyone else carry on this family tradition?

Lorajay 9 May 17

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We don't have a memorial day, but we have Rememberance Day in Aussie. It's on the 11th day of the 11th month and at 11am we observe a 1 minutes silence around the country to remember the dead who died in our wars. It's announced on the radio and many businesses stop for that 1 minute. It's a powerful thing


Thanks for the reminder. This is a touchy one for me. I used to feel so bad not being able to go to family funerals. The last family funeral i remember attending was my cousin Kenneth's funeral. After Vietnam i stayed away from them, even my fathers and mothers deaths i stayed out of family doings. They understand. I really do not celebrate it, i respect it.


Not during a pandemic, unless you want to join them.

I hardly ever see anyone else at the cemeteries when I am there.

@Lorajay Your life, your choice.


I do not, but I think it is special and important if someone has it.


No one in my line is sentimental about death, and cremation is routine. We interred my parents’ ashes in Puget Sound in the North Pacific because they liked to sail there, but I won’t return to visit. I do keep a few mementos of my dead loved ones around my home—my parents’ bookends on my bookshelf, my grandmother’s sugar bowl on my windowsill, etc. I use my great-grandmother's cedar chest to store tools and photo albums in my office. These things warm my heart while being useful.

UUNJ Level 8 May 17, 2020

We keep my brother's grave decorated year round for the various holidays and I talk to him whenever I visit. I know he can't hear me but it helps me cope with the loss.


I avoid cemeteries and funerals if I can. My mother has now been dead 14 years and I think I went to her grave 2 or 3 times. I forget what times they were, but nothing recently. Before he went into the nursing home my stepdad said I needed to visit mom's grave more often. I denied that I did and suggested maybe he needed to visit her grave more often.

Both my late mom (1997) and father (2001) are cremated, as is my late wife(2017) when sentimental, I'll play "Dust in the wind" by Kansas........


My aunt is the only one I know who still does that.

I don't even go to cemeteries. Or funerals.

I might add that Memorial Day was originally for remembering our war dead. Someone must have gotten jealous because it has now been expanded to include your other loved ones. I'm sorry. Neither my mother nor my sister wore combat boots. Florists must love the day, however.


Yes, we did something similar. We would cut peonies and lilies from home and put them in water in canning jars and take them to the cemetery. I still do.

In Indiana, the Hoosierism for "peony" is something more like "piney". That's what my grandparents and my father called them.


Memorials are not for the dead: they are for the living. I do not have this tradition, but neither do I have any loved ones buried anywhere near me.



skado Level 9 May 17, 2020

wow. nice. around here they call it Decoration. it's kind of a social Gathering thing.

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