The options you've given yourself make my heart sink for you, loved one.

There is nothing wrong with staying in a relationship where you are legitimately happy. But that doesn't seem to be 100% the case, from what information was given.

6 years is a long time to spend connecting to another person.

I found that there is a grieving time that one has to go through when losing someone important to the their life. During that time, we are subject to the process restarting again if we reopen the wound, much like how a physical wound heals, right? If you have a gash on your arm and you poke at the scab too many times, it won't heal properly. Yes?

I'm not telling you what to do, you're an autonomous being. Your feelings are VALID.
You have an identity outside of (even your own) expectations of your life. And you are loved, exactly as you are, to the right people. Love yourself, and chase after your vision of how YOUR life will be.

Sacrificing everything that is NOT serving your highest calling in this life is not the same as running away.

You need to answer some questions for yourself. Only you have the answers.

1. What was the real reason for the breakup? He said he would never marry you? You were expecting he would marry you?
2. Was it a healthy relationship? Was there any physical or emotional abuse?
3. Why is he coming back for the weekend? Just to see you? Sex? Move back in? Whose place is it?
4. Are you hoping for a reconcilation?

Ask yourself these questions. Then answer them honestly. I had an on/off relationship for 10 years. I ended it 9 years ago. Unnhealthy relationship.

I will tell you the same thing I told my sons 20 years ago:

Relationships are like milk. If you pour a glass & take a drink & taste that its gone sour, you don't put it back in the fridge thinking it will be better in a couple of months.

You broke up for a reason. Yes, its hard to be alone but its better to be alone & happy than miserable with someone you know can't commit & you live in fear they will bolt at any minute.

Move on. Work on yourself. Reflect on what qualties you desire in your next partner. Learn how to salsa. Go to poetry slams. Find a new hobby. Become an advocate for something you are truly passionate about. If its meant to be, let him be the one to come back then you can make your decision.

Don't walk away. Run! That's what your gut is saying. Listen to it.

A slight variation on the maxim, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” It is “when someone tells you they can’t give you what you need, believe them.”

Staying, in the situation you describe, reeks of codependency. Please move on, re-establish YOU as yourself, sovereign being that you are. Once you love yourself again, you will be ready to love another - and attract someone worthy of you. Trust me on this. (Been there, done that.)

I say run like the wind. I got out of a 15 year marriage after my wife was having a ongoing affare for almost the last year we were together. When she finally told me it was on my birthday and she asked if I was gonna fight for her? I was short and sweet, hell nooooo it would of been one thing for her to have cheated once then came to me I'm sure with consoling I could of gotten over it. In a way I'm lucky because there was no chance of us getting back together. The next day she moved her new bf into the house I bought for our family 10 years ago. So like I said run like the wind if they don't love you the same way you love them.

There are reasons why he is your ex. Just don't forget about those things while making your decision.

Been there, done that. I know all to well how much it can hurt but in my experience and opinion, no good will come from it and in the end you'll only hurt a lot more. Good luck.

IMHO you deserve better hon.

1. The time you spend with him is time Lost from finding a new love.
   2..It brings you down! ( in your eyes as well as others'
2. It makes you feel poorly about yourself or you wouldn't have posted this. Do you really think he is the only one who will Ever love you? Take your lessons learned & do better for yourself!

I chose neither. Choose to be happy in and of yourself, irrelevant of your connection to anyone else. In that position, you're in a better position to either be with the ex, happily, or be free, happily. NEVER make your happiness contingent on another. That is a recipe for disaster.

I won't give you advice. Because you don't know me and I don't know you, and whatever I write is bereft of knowledge of where you are coming from.

I think those are our bona fides sorted.

You will do what feels right to you. I hope that internal guidance is right. That it tells you what is right. For you.

All that I will say is this. I have been to the void. I've seen it. And unless your partner wants to hold you and wrap you safely and defy the void because he wants nothing less than to save you from the void - well, then, he is not your partner.

And that's it. You have all of my best wishes.

Two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

I spent the last year with my ex, only to have her inexplicably drop me when finding interest in someone else, without a word of goodbye or concern for my wellbeing. Imagine something this heart wrenching and whether or not you could stomach the possibility. Not that our situations are the same. But you could be setting yourself up for additional pain.

There excess for a reason. your just dragging out the pain that's inevitable.

I’d say just spending the rest I f the week with him is a bad idea.

To the casual observer, your ex is telling you he's not interested in long term, even though 6 years is a fairly long time to be together and longer that lots of marriages. Did his marriage end b/c of his infidelity or his wife's?

For some reason, women are conditioned to think that marriage is the end game of every serious relationship. And we're notorious for seeing the absolute positive what-if best in others - but this thinking is a trap. Feel free to understand/empathize with someone's sad history, but your ex is outright telling you that he's not ready. My advice: 1) don't fall in love with potential, fall in love with actual...not what he could be down the road but what he is right now. And when you're sure you've got a good one and wanna know what he's thinking, 2) ignore everything he says and just watch what he does. It's remarkably illuminating. We all lie, even to ourselves, but seem to be incapable of lying with our actions.

Is he loving, encouraging, honest and generous with you? If so, who cares about marriage? If not, after 6 years his actions are unequivocally telling you that it's not gonna happen. Moving on sucks at first (because most of us are lazy creatures of habit) but it's ultimately empowering. Your instincts have probably already told you what to do, you just have to listen to them.

Inability to make an effective committment both for yourself and for the other is. a relationship killer.

I say run, but not because of him. Happiness is related to the individual. He will not make you happy. Only you can make you happy!

I did not and will not vote. This isn't something to trust to the judgment of strangers.

I was cheated on as well. Yes, it sucks, and it makes it harder to trust, but if you've never given him reason not to trust you and he doesn't after six years, try couples' counseling if you get back together.

You are a woman who cares deeply for another. Do you HAVE to have an end result? Is marriage your goal? the prize? or do you enjoy the life you have together and the fun and joy with growing forward together? People get cheated on after awhile it really falls under (for me) BFD. If life is good except for a burning desire for marriage? Stay and play and laugh and enjoy. If he can't care and be open and if you know he will not cheat. . . Stay! because you can always leave you are grown

There’s no right answer It’s all in what you’re willing to put up with.

Is marriage or happiness the most important to you ?
Marriage is a piece of paper.
Love goes way beyond any of that my friend.
What does your heart say?

I don't believe in going backwards. Especially after someone has hurt me.
If he tells you he can't open his heart, believe him.
You deserve better, and odds are, you will be paying for his ex's mistakes.
Run.