I see forgiveness as a gift to myself. It severs the control and bond between myself and the person/s who have caused the pain. It is freedom to move on with my life. To forget is not possible, it is part of my personal history that has moulded me into the person I am.

Well, yeah there is some of that of course. Also, it depends on the severity if each case. Some things are much better when forgotten

I've come to the understanding that forgiveness is mainly for ourselves, so we don't allow hurt and disappointment to control our lives. That doesn't mean forgetting what happened or excusing it, but just being able to get on with our lives. What is it they say, living well is the best revenge.

Yes, holding grudges is harmful to all involved. I do not hold grudges. Still experience has taught me that for my own mental health, it is best to avoid contact with some people, and that it is not safe to trust some people. I do not wish to punish, but simply to avoid unneeded and senseless pain.

I don't forgive or forget, I don't see the need to, but I try not to let things eat at me and not all things cause me to seek revenge, only very few in fact. To be perfectly honest, I do not understand forgive and forget.

Yes, I forgive...it is good for me but I keep the toxic person away

When a wrong has been done and the wrong doer feels no remorse, no regret and offers no apology, then why forgive and let them get away with hurting you? Just cut that person out of your life and never have to deal with them again. Out of mind and be proud.

I'm talking about big things. Of course, small things, you're sure the person is sorry for, then forgive at once and continue to be friends. But why forgive, if there is no apology?

In dealing with abuse from a parent, it wasn't until I heard that my father was also abused as a child, and that's likely why he abused us, that I could come to an understanding. While he was lying helpless in his hospital bed, hours away from death, he called all of us kids into his room. We all thought he was going to apologize for the years of abuse, but it was nothing of the kind.

After his death, and he could not abuse us anymore, I did forgive him, for myself, so I could move on. I'm not sure all of my siblings did. There are some abuses that are just not forgivable - but once the abuser is out of your life or dead - well then yes- for your sanity - come to terms with it and move on.

Yes do forgive. That is important for ones self. Forgetting is foolishness of an old cliche. It’s like saying I’ll just chose not to learn from the past.

Yes just keep moving.

I can forgive, but I cannot forget. Whenever a wrong has been done, the relationship changes, or ends, because the wronged person is now changed.

As a person feeling betrayed by the person I held most close, I find this very profound. Thanks for sharing.

I don't believe we should always forgive. Some people who have been wronged to an extreme degree are often pressured by pastors, therapists, or other advisers to forgive under the pretense that it helps the victim to move on. This is not necessarily true. Nobody should feel like they need to forgive someone unless they feel ready and want to, otherwise it will do the wronged party more harm than good.

I am reminded that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. For to hate someone one has to still give them room in your head. Indifference means they are no longer taking up a place in your head. It allows one to forget they ever had influence. This is hard especially when they have given you something so terrible, so hard to release oneself from. I am sure I am not revealing all about this as the abuse I was presented with took place so long ago. It surely has had an influence on me, but I try to live in the present without thought of the abuse or the person who gave it to me.

For me it really depends on what I'm forgiving. I will never forgive my childrens' father for physically abusing our son and sexually abusing our daughter. In fact, we all celebrated when he died. Most everyone who knew him agreed he was a waste of space.

Forgiveness isn’t as important as acceptance. Some people do terrible things. Most everyone gets the benefit of the doubt, because we have all done some shitty things in moments of ignorance or weakness, but I don’t have to forgive everyone.

But I do have to accept what has happened and move on. Sometimes things suck. Can’t change the past and everything is a learning experience.

I may not hold hatred against my dad for the physical abuse he gave me, but I can’t say I’d ever forgive him. His actions have not only affected me but also the lives if the other two children he sexually abused. Thus I felt no empathy for him when he was sentenced to prison for 65 years.

Forgiveness is unnecessary. You either get over whatever it is, or you don't, but you
never forget.
Forgiveness is just some feel good bs that been sold to us through religion.
I don't believe in it. I think it's turned into garbage psycho-babble.

yes hatred and anger eat the person with those feeling from the inside out