Is social anxiety a problem for anyone else? My brain seems to shut off the moment someone asks me a question!
I use "social anxiety" as a convenient shorthand for I-don't-trust-people-because-I've-been-bullied-and-rejected-my-whole-life-so-I-can't-stand-attention-and-since-I-skateboarded-in-public-for-several-years-people-have-been-recognizing-me-staring-and-gossiping-so-leaving-my-house-is-kind-terrifying-for-me-right-now
I have to admit here at 78, that a big portion of my life was spent feeling awkward, at gatherings, parties or in groups. It did help to learn that I am an introvert and I don't do small talk easily. And, introverts are not energized by being around other people, like extroverts are! In fact my energy is depleted, if I stay to long! I did improve, but it is still not my favorite thing to do.
For me, it depends. I have issues with perceived expectations, but only occasionally. It's very situational. One example was I always had issues ordering for subway. Something about the way it's set up. You have to tell multiple people what you want and there's more demand to be decided quickly when you're in that line. I think it's because its customizable, and I don't want to make people's work life hard.
I'm hypersensitive to the desires of other people.
Sometimes eye contact is hard. It can be people ive made eye contact with regularly, but on certain days. I can't stand the thought of engaging anyone. It's like I don't have the energy to try. I'm not sure what the trigger is. Maybe that day I don't feel like I can take any scrutiny?
Anyway, I think anyone with social anxiety may have issues managing expectations.
I can talk to pretty much anybody anywhere, so l can't really relate. I'm not sure who has the advantage. Is it a matter of confidence? Is it something you have always had to deal with? Have you tried therapy? Being the opposite of someone with social anxiety l am curious as to why it is so difficult to talk to people since l can't shut up sometimes, like now.
AustinKoz, I had crippling social anxiety. 20% of the population is affected by it. You aren't alone. You probably are especially sensitive to others, picking up on signals that most others miss. It's a double edged sword until you learn it's power. Try mindfulness: allowing this part of you to be without reacting to it. It's almost as though it's a reserve of extra sensory data. I hope going forward you will learn to embrace it and contain it rather than to allow it to take control of you. It takes time but it's a worthwhile endeavor.
I don't, but one of my kids had social anxiety so bad she had selective mutism. She could only talk to me, her dad and a few other family members. She never talked at school for about a year until she got intervention.
My ex shuts down when I would ask him questions.
Social anxiety is definitely an unpleasant and often troublesome condition, yet I found it has its benefits too.
I have worked with many people having some form of SAD, and I also have it myself... I came with a theory, based on observations - people with SAD behave much more properly under heavy stress and advers conditions and are more likely to demonstrate bravery and heroism upon facing danger. I justify that with the fact that people, having SAD feel anxious/afraid in pretty trivial situations, thus they need to develop a skill to manage this anxiety/fear and as a result, when facing an actually dangerous situation it comes much easier to them to put the fear under control and react appropriately (as to them dealing with anxiety/fear is a daily thing) in comparison to a person that is normally not exposed to such emotions.