Going to kinda free write this, and none of this will qualify as "required reading" so if anybody wants to bail out now, it's a good time.

I watch an almost unhealthy amount of YouTube videos with athiest content and a lot of common stories involve a turning point, where the doubt began. I didn't have a highly religious upbringing. Both my parents grew up Catholic, and they went through the entire song and dance, but they did not raise my brother and me up the same way. I wasn't aware of the concept of sin until fifth grade, when someone brought in some religious pamphlet stating "We are all sinners!". Great material for grade schoolers. In me middle school years my parents tried to go to church regularly, and at first it kind of feel empowering. The whole pronouncing of faith and all that, but after a while, it felt like a chore. The seats were uncomfortable, the knee pads sucked and you couldn't go 10 minutes without changing positions. Our monsenior was a total windbag too. It all came to an end when my brother and I actually started hitting each other in church. We were pissed at each other for reasons I can't remember, but we were teens, so, likely something stupid. Nothing happened in the building. We weren't stuck down by lightning, and if since guy a few rows back didn't tell my mother I don't know that anything would have come of it. If that wasn't cause for doubt enough, boy, that parking lot. Might have been a lot of love thy neighbor in the building, but once you were in your car, you were on your own. Always loved the old people who would get their communion cracker and leave. Tells you how committed they were. Some other weird moments in church included my grandmother's funeral. There was a gaggle of old ladies, never came up to offer their condolences, didn't interact with anybody, they did the whole communion thing and left. Is there a thing where old people get addicted to stale wafers? Should be a surgeon general warning, I guess. My friend got married in that church, and the monsenior washed their feet. That was weird. I'm all for full service but man, I can wash my own feet. Last brush with overt but concerning religious bullshit was at my cousin's high school graduation. The principal told the story of somebody and their "favorite wife" and I almost laughed at the concept. In today's "sanctity of marriage" this guy had a favorite?

I'm not sure I ever truly believed. I still thank "god", but it's less of thanking a being than thanking an unknown. Maybe it's a real god. Maybe I'm thanking a concept, or just a general whatever happened at that time. Point is, when you're not in deep, when you don't have it completely forced upon you, it's easier to see through it all. Like a radio station playing the same songs, they want you to hear it so much that eventually you accept it, then possibly like it enough to buy the CD. So I'm glad my parents, despite their own upbringing, let me be my own person to the point where I'm openly athiest; because the alternative is much worse.