Self-love is perhaps one of the most difficult tasks we have in life. As a child I was constantly told how worthless I was and how much of a failure I would be in life. I absolutely refused to accept this line of B.S. from my good ole nurturing MOTHER. The only problem I had was trying to figure out at what time in my young life did I take a warm piss in her Wheaties.

Seeing the good in others is really quite refreshing. Acknowledging the fact that none of us are perfect beings is a great relief, besides, perfection is really quite boring.

So, I am going to spend the rest of my life enjoying my imperfections, working on the old golden rule and making judgemental people nervous.

Agree with many of the commentors here, society has ideals of physical perfection that can make anyone feel inferior if they don't measure up. Look at all the advertising that tells us we'll be better and happier people if we just buy this product or that. I went many years feeling that I was inadequate and therefore didn't deserve good things in my life, just starting to change this now. We need more emphasis, starting as children, that we're beautiful, good, and worthy just as we are.

CBD oil is calming and stops negative thoughts.

Other helpful stuff; eat fish, take St. John's Wort, magnesium, and 5-htp, take early morning walks to reset your thyroid for a higher mood level and sync your sleep patterns with the sun.

Being partially transmale, although I was unaware of it until 2014, I always thought I was hideous..I couldn't bear to look in the mirror, or at photos of me without feeling upset, but didn't know why.

After I started taking the Thai herb derris scandens for back pain and discovered it stops gender dysphoria, I was able to look at photos of me for the first time.
I was shocked by my old photos and how beautiful I have been the entire time. It's too bad, since I was unable to see it or appreciate it. I'm probably still pretty, by the reactions I get from people, but it's still hard to see, although I can now look in the mirror.

As a society we have been told and shown what is concidered beautiful, and then we compare ourselves to that model of beauty. So it is easy to jusdge and or be jealous - it is a false image and impossible to live up to. There are many things I'll never be or have on the scale of beauty the ad media presents. I just accept it and live my life. That's not to say when I see a truly egregious fashion faux pas I don't comment.

For me it was just stop judging and start being.

So many factors have fed into the notions in our society of who is attractive and who isn't, from capitalism to patriarchy, and most everyone buys into it. It's largely a way to make everyone feel insecure and inadequate so that we spend our money to try to be better. The truth is, until a person decides for themselves to base their self-worth on an inner scale rather than what society has decided is acceptable, that person will never be content and will always judge others.

I'm fat - I've been fat my entire adult life. Many are put off by it, some find me attractive in spite of or even because of my size. But at the end of the day, the only person I have to please is myself. If I spent my life comparing myself to other women or even to my past self, I'd be pretty miserable most of the time. I can't (or won't) bust my ass trying to live up to the ideal society has set, so I focus on improving what I can and accepting what I can't change.

Don't compare yourself to others - it puts you in a position of judging them, which won't help you feel better. Instead, focus on things you do like about yourself, work on improving the things you can, and cut yourself a break on the things you can't change. There's no point in punishing yourself for those. And realize you're not supposed to be like the other women that society puts on a pedestal. Those people are there as a way of manipulating you into being unhappy.

You already have the answer. You said, "Then, after I correct me to stop hating and find good things to say..." That's what you do for yourself. Stop hating and find good things to say. Say it enough, and you will begin to believe it. This is how it works.

Maybe my form of autism is not so bad. I am a big guy, always was, always will be. But have not always been overweight. I hit 6ft2 at 16 and was 54 inches around the chest 30 around the waist.
I would get yelled at and called a "poser" at swimming pools. I got fat, lost it many times, 20 years ago I was the same weight I was at 15.
At 45 I was fit and active, walk back from the beach and young guys would yell abuse, then drive off very fast. At 55 I again put on far too much weight. A business partner made comments to some of my contacts that I should be ashamed to be seen walking around as I do. Boardies and no shirt with my gut hanging out. He is close to my age, roofing plumber thin and wears short shorts everywhere. He is also a musician with a huge ego.

Bottom line is I do not care, I wear only boardies because I live at the beach, walk off in all directions and swim home. I have never thought of cats, dogs, horses, cattle as ugly or repugnant, I don't believe they judge us on physical appearance. I am the same. I almost do not notice peoples appearance, the exception being an extremely attractive woman.

Don't look at it like hating as much as making fun of. I am sure most of us do it, especially if you are sitting somewhere watching folks go by like a parade. You have to entertain yourself when your are just sitting there.

I did. I physically changed my body to how I wanted it. I workout at the gym for me. I don't want to look like I'm a weak toothpick.

"Why would you wear that if you have fat hanging out?"-I Cant afford better and don't care what you or others think.
"Why is he wearing that hat?"--He likes it, why is what he likes subject to your opinion?
"So why do I (or society - whatever) place them on a pedestal?" Society, Media in particular, through advertisement and film and Tv TELL YOU what is acceptable, what is "IN", what is "Cool" and what is not. So your letting Nike's idea of what is cool run your life to an extent.

"I have these scars from shoulder to palm from a bus accident when I was a baby."--In my view you earned those, same with wrinkles and grey hair (or lack of hair, ect), as you go through life the events in that life mark you.
Why do you seee that as bad inherently?

"Question is: how does one look at something physical about themselves that cannot be changed, and change how they see it?"
You seem to care MORE about how others might view something than how you think or feel about it. Try caring a little more about YOU and less about public sentiment, the opinions of people you do not know and whom have no effect on your world or reality.

I don't judge on looks... but will on habits.. even though a lot of mine ain't that great either. It is interesting though... these "ideals"... Some of it I'm sure is genetic selection of some kind at play. Some of it is cultural... and what the heck is the difference (if any) anyway? It bothers me when people play fashion police. I don't want to offend anyone with my appearance, but I also don't put much effort into it unless I'm trying to make a good impression, or be respectful in a certain setting. As far as I'm concerned, people can walk around naked... warts and all... just carry a towel to sit on, please.

A person who loves you for your "perfectness" does not really love you, and that includes You!

Once you accept who you are, and that there are certain features that you can't do anything about (except maybe by expensive surgery), and that the average individual isn't Clooney handsome, or Charlize Theron beautiful, you start to realize that what we look like is just not that important, really. Everybody has flaws of some sort; some visible, some not.

I dunno, when I see folks with fat hanging out of their clothes, I wonder how they aren't horribly physically uncomfortable. It would drive me nuts if I had bits of me hanging out of my clothes, squeezed by hems, dented in odd places by elastic, randomly getting cold. Sometimes it looks like it would be downright painful. I thought we'd moved past clothing being painful. ?

As to seeing oneself differently, I wish I knew. I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder and my brain is always trying to tell me that I'm hideous, to the point where I literally see things differently than everyone else does. The only thing that seems to work for that is therapy.

I never ever consider any of that.

I don't stare at others. None of my business.

Take care of yourself in every sense. Be as healthy as you can in every sense. And then share that as much as is appropriate. If other folks can't see that maybe offer to help them see it or just stay the fuck away from them. I know what it's like to have that self-negating internal dialog that so easily can be turned outward on others. There are a lot of techniques, tools and therapies to get out of that mindset. Find one that works for you but ultimately we have to let go of the fantasy of how things are supposed to be. Make peace with how things are and move on from there. Peace.

Stretch marks from childbirth-you gave life
sturdy strong legs- capabilites someone with slim delicate legs might not have
scars on your arm from an accident- strength to overcome even at a young age

something like that? Positive reframe?