I want a partner.

I think it's like a two-piece jigsaw puzzle fitting together but there is no particular recipe for it.

My recent relationship had its problems, but I always felt cared for. My fella had that classic gentleman yet handyman personality. He always had a fresh hanky on him for unexpected mishaps... If something wasn't working quite right, he'd go about trying to fix it... Lots of little things, like check the oil in my car to see if it's low, back the car into a tight space for me... Anytime he left would always ask if I had some rubbish he could take out for me... When he'd stop into a store would always call to ask if I needed anything... Always showed up with some food item or beverage, just because he was just raised that way - or became that way I don't know, but it was nice... If I was having an especially stressful time, he'd make time for a nice long hug... He never expected me to do all the cooking or laundry, but did his share... Kinda hard to put my finger on just one thing, but it was just lots of little things that made me feel cared for.

Why must you be a feminist ? Why can't we just take care of each other. Seems to je the right way to go ?

Perfect!!! I want to be cherished. Being taken care of works in a pinch but if you are not cherished and respected all the chemistry in the world will not keep the spark going. I adored my ex but in the end he could not respect my work as a potter and artist. It was strange cause to strangers he seemed proud of me but in private he was denigrating. I came to believe it was a money thing, I did not make as much as a potter as I did working in the printing industry.

My idea is a woman communicating what she needs from her man right now, be it listening, hugging, or just being there and then just letting him do it. If then she could communicate what she needs from her man whenever she is in need of his companionship and attention that to me would constitute take care of a woman.

My age group seems to be the tail end of the generations where the man is still the provider.
I always say, I want a co-pilot not a passenger.
4 relationships with opinionated women who still expected me to shoulder all burdens, shelter them when things go wrong, solve all problems, do the hard yards.but let them do as they please in all things. There have been so many times when I really wished they would have lifted their game and assisted.
This would be different in different communities I realise.

I agree, but I would also add ,whenever it is relevant, helping to provide information which can help the wife in decision-making to make her life better.

same as taking care of a person, as in taking care of each other

" Taking care of a woman ." After giving birth , on the ride home from the hospital , I was told the washing machine was broke . A day or two later , my husband decided , as a way of getting me out of the house , we should walk around the mall . I'm loaded down with both the filled diaper bag , and our new infant , and I can barely stand . I tell him I can't carry all this any more . Before I can transfer her to him , he suddenly gets a cramp in his arm and can't take her . ( In addition to just having given birth , I was born with an undersized lower rear aorta artery ) . So, the following day , I'm trying to get the car loaded with all the dirty laundry for the days I was in hospital , the baby , the diaper bag , and the dirty diapers , and I ask him to please load the dirty diaper bucket in the trunk for me . When I get to the laundry , I'm trying to get the baby , the diaper bag , the week's dirty laundry and the dirty diaper bucket into the laundromat , and discover that the bucket is half full of water , but contains only one diaper , because the one filled with dirty diapers is still at home . Next he comes to me and says I need to go back to work right away , because he can't possibly afford to support me . That's interesting . I ask him how much money we have in the bank . He doesn't know . I ask him when he last even looked at a bank statement . Again , he doesn't know . The Agency I worked for has rules about how long before I can go back to work after delivery . My time wasn't up yet , but , I believe , this is coming from his mother , who can't wait to get hold of my daughter . So I go back to work , full time , and at the end of the first week , he comes to me and tells me , I need to take a day off from work , because his mother , only has evenings after work , and the weekends to do her housework . I point out to him , that that's the same time I have to do my house work , except I have the baby then , and I was the one who gave birth , and , since I used my leave time to give birth , I had no leave time left . I suggest he takes off from work to give both his mom and me a break . He won't , after all , he's saving his leave time to go on a two week hunting with his brother . So the concept here is , after being so cherished by my husband , at some point , between cooking dinner , washing the dirty dishes , bathing the kids , dressing them for bed , reading them a bedtime story , doing the laundry , scrubbing the floors , scrubbing the bathtub , toilet , sink , etc , I should fix him a drink , massage his back , and cherish him ? There's only one of me . A massage would have been nice , I would have liked thaf . If he'd changed even one dirty diaper , that would have been nice .

Sounds like he’s stuck in parenting mode.

How about “offering his support” instead “taking care.”
Taking implies possession.

Giving them responsibility for your care means they are making decisions on your behalf. If you need someone to do that for you then okay, but it sounds like you want responsibility for you.

Semantics aside, it doesn’t matter what other people’s ideals are. Be vocal about what it means to you and be clear about your boundaries and needs.

That's exactly how I would treat a lady. I've always felt that it's the little attentions that matter.

I've never had that before.

That would be wonderful. More like a dream than real life.