I think you woudl do better in a town that was more generally accepting of human diversity, where you did not have to be so afraid but coudl experient freely to find your personal identity.

I have a non-binary friend and go with him/her to a group once a month in Portland OR for persons to talk about their issues of gender identity. Being a gay male in that group seems pretty boring by comparison.

Anyway, my friend was pushed into takign on male roles and male hormones, but it didn't really take ans so now she is on female homrmones and checkign otu the other side to see if she is happier (shy was born with an XXY chromosone anomoly).

Anyway, what I got otu of goign to the group is that a person shodul nto be so quick to put oneself into any box of this or that, but may need to buidl one's own box just for oneself, and if others don't 'liek it than that is too bad for them.

Try talking to these people: [kootenaytransgender.com] , which is the closest thing I could find to you. I seem to have been gathering trans friends like Pokemon , possibly because I'm someone safe and understanding. Not tooting my own horn here, but I'm getting rather activist about the issue. Always need an ally!

Thank you all so so much. I know to some it sounds silly, but I have lived a life where I was trying so hard not to be something that I went a bit overboard in the opposite direction. I'm just learning now that I don't have to follow these weird rules implanted by a society that has never been in my corner. This seems like common sense for some people but its not, unfortunately I'm a victim of body image brainwashing and at 25 I'm finally starting to understand.

As a trans woman I totally get the 'terrified but excited' feeling. It took me a while before I embraced it and slowly came to live as the person I really am. It turns out that people, in England at least, are nowhere near as judgemental as I expected and I hope you find the same thing. Try to tell yourself that nobody can tell you how to live your life as you wouldn't do the same to them. Good luck with everything and enjoy yourself - let the 'excited' overrule the 'terrified'!

Please, I am not being flippant. You are you, whether male or female, you do not have to represent as either masculine or feminine, just as you. Society is getting better.
But I agree totally with the spectrum, I am a straight guy, yet have often been taken as gay on and off during my life. I just don't do "blokey" things. I was in a shop once with my son, and it took a bit to convince the lady shop owner we were not a gay couple.
My daughter has quite short hair, has not worn a dress for 15 years, and that was only once, she would NEVER wear a bikini. She was recently best man at her best friends wedding and he will return the favour for her next year. We do not live in a homophobic area, yet she complains she still gets soem harrassment. I am sorry this happens, but really encourage you to be you. I haven't looked how old you are, my daughter is now 33 and decided at 19 who she was.

I won't say that I understand what you are going thru, because I don't. However, as a gay man, all I can suggest is that you should search yourself and find what makes sense to YOU. There is absolutely NO reason why a person should be piegon holed into a label. Be true to yourself and everything should fall into place, exactly as it should. hugs

Eh, don't be so concerned with labels. I wouldn't cut my hair in a man's style, I'd go with a more unisex cut. That way if the experiment didn't pan out you're not stuck with an unwanted hair style.
Like others have said "Just be you" and don't think about the gender. Seek your balance point and be happy.

Hey. I kinda feel you. I have female genatalia but am way more of a tomboy. Definitely do not want to be a man or anything but also do not feel like a lady in any sense of the word. I believe the word is "pansexual" or "pangender" but I don't really know about all those terms nor do I really care. I do feel bad that you do not feel safe to be yourself. I hope you choose to be yourself regardless of what others will think. It is very liberating. Maybe take a self defense class or get some pepper spray handy just in case?

Next time you fill out a form and it asks for "Gender" check "OTHER." See if that makes you feel better.

Go for what feels right

Without taking sides or choosing a gender outright, play both angels of it and see how you feel. There are always men who would date a more masculine woman, and there are women who like women also. I'm not talking stereo types. Date and see how you feel. Let this become sexual and you willl learn more. Before long you know if you are bisexual or if you favor one gender. Find your dates outside of your little hick town and even if you bring them home you can cover up what you are doing because it is your business only.

I’m not gay or transgender but I do know you have to be you in order to be happy. I hope you find yourself.

There is nothing you have to fear. No I am not gay but finding out who the true you is should and will be exciting. Our society and I live in USA has gotten all bent out of shape about nothing. Feel and breath who you want to be. Take the chance you may miss if don't try it. There is your right to cut your hair, wear a mans shirt if you so feel the need. Wear plaids, wear stripes or wear 2 different socks because I do. I have come to a point in my life that I am who I want to be and its no one elses business. I wish you the best in this "New You".