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How do you feel about unvaccinated people singing (maskless) along with every song at a concert, seated next to you, or at the dinner table in a restaurant where there is live music?

To be honest, I never liked it before the pandemic, but I dislike it even more now, since we're all being so careful with distancing. I come to hear the singer, not my dinner companion sing.

During the pandemic, I've been lucky to be able to attend several concerts and dinners with music, in open air and outdoor settings. I invite various friends to come along with me, and I enjoy it so much. BUT there is one friend, an anti-vaxxer, who I have been inviting less and less, because of her constant singing while sitting next to me.

She and I disagree about the safety (and courtesy) of singing at the table where it's impossible for me to move more than a foot away from the droplets she's expelling. I've asked her repeatedly not to sing at the table, but she continues. Tonight was the last straw for me, and I was much more firm in my request for her not to sing at the table.

I personally believe it's shameful behavior during covid, and just plain rude otherwise. Belting out a song is different than a quiet conversation, as far as droplets go, in my opinion. She disagrees.

I might have been a bit more snarky tonight, because it was right after she reaffirmed to me that she will not be getting vaccinated.

Maybe I'm being too hard on her, since it just bugs me to hear her sing instead of the musician I came to hear... and so maybe I'm using covid to try to get her to stop, and being snarky about it because she refuses vaccinations. Maybe my complaint to her is unfounded, and it's just a personal preference for me that she stop?

What do you think? I personally would never sing at the dinner table, except for those few occasions when the musician encourages a sing long for a line or two, but not the whole song. Am I being too mean by harping on this to her? Do you think it's unsafe for unvaccinated people to sing in close proximity to others in public settings?

I know the CDC just eased their guidance regarding masks and social distancing for vaccinated people - but Hawaii will keeping our statewide mask mandate until we get more of our residents vaccinated. This person is not vaccinated and will not be getting vaccinated.

Help me ease my conscience about snapping at my dinner companion? Or am I out of line?

When is it okay to sing at the dinner table when out with friends at a restaurant?

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  • 6 votes
Julie808 8 May 14
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9 comments

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I make an exception for one anti-vaxer, that I will sit with her at karaoke, because she lives a very isolated life, her job is a home business and other than going shopping or being around her kids, she has little chance to get Covid except at the weekly karaoke show I join her at. The other people I sit with at karaoke are all vaxed and I feel safe with them. As far as singing at karaoke shows, I seldom sing from my table while others are singing, esp. if they are really good. As a karaoke singer, I really resent it, because I'm actually pretty good and usually serious about my songs, when people at their tables sing loudly along with me during the song. Esp. if they are sitting right in front of the stage area. It's very distracting and some people have done this so loudly I could barely hear myself during MY SONG. In those cases, I have always informed the karaoke host how much this pissed me off and how rude this is. And in case the host doesn't follow up with the offender, I have always shared my feelings with them and made it clear that I will be singing as loud as I can when THEIR turn to sing comes up, assuming they have the guts to sign up and sing. I have found that few karaoke hosts have the balls to confront these jerks, so I take it upon myself.

If I sing from my table at a karaoke show, I keep my volume down and make sure I am sitting far enough away so that the singer on the mic can't hear me.

As for audience members singing at a concert or live music at a restaurant or bar, I generally refrain from singing along with them, unless it's clear they are inviting a sing-along. They are getting paid for what they do, and I need to respect their work. The few times I might sing along, I always make sure I am sitting far away from the performers, and also not too close to other audience members. And I keep my volume low.

I've never been to a karaoke place, but I think that might be different than when I'm paying money to hear the professional musician, and I've got someone singing in my ear, I guess for no other reason than to boast that they know the words to every freaking song. So, your last paragraph echoes my thinking about it. Thanks.

2

In the past, I've strongly disliked audience members singing along to concerts. I didn't buy tickets to this thing to hear you!

3

Unless the the featured singers are butchering the song or it’s karaoke! πŸ˜‚

4

I didn't vote because I would actually enjoy someone singing at the dinner table if they were any good. Your options did not include any reference to capability.

Regarding your concern during the covid epidemic, I do not invite anyone anywhere when they are not vaccinated. I have a couple who are friends and only she is vaccinated. He has become an antivaxer and we exclude him from all our gatherings. His wife is thankful hoping that he will eventually get vaccinated.

Actually, I had hoped she had come around and had decided to get the vaccine, but nope, she emphasized again that she doesn't want to.

I did tell her last night that I won't be spending time with unvaccinated people during the 2 weeks before my young grandsons come to visit, so I don't give them anything that might be in my nostrils and throat. I kind of said that to her as a warning - because she asks a lot of favors of me - and she will be preparing to move during that time frame and likely will be asking for a lot of help - so if she chooses not to get vaccinated I'm not inclined to help her.

I made my point to her - just one more reason for her to get vaccinated - so we'll see. I've just kind of had it with her. Maybe I'm looking for reasons to end the friendship. That may be why my snapping about her singing at the dinner table is eating at my conscience.

3

PS. Is it not an contradiction in terms anyway. Surely if you sing at dinner tables, you won't have any friends.

Yep, especially if you've been asked multiple times not to sing and you know it greatly bothers your dinner companion! Pretty sure she notices me scooting my food farther and farther away from her on the table.

@Julie808 If I were in your shoes and shared your attitude towards those who refuse to get vaxed and who show no concern for infecting others, I simply wouldn't get together with her anymore, at least not indoors.

1

In the UK restaurants and concert halls are closed anyway.

I'm lucky where I live that most venues are outdoor or open air anyway.

4

I think that she's determined to be a germ-infested prat that completely ignores your feelings, you should sever all ties with her. Period
Oh, and it is Perfectly possible to sing with a mask On!!! Duuuuhhhhh

3

Might change over time, but for now, I'm going to keep being pretty careful.

5

Extremely stupid

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