Ring! Unknown number, I answer and a mechanical voice says, “This is AT&T. Your account has been suspended. You may press 1 to fix this or O to speak to a rep.”

Why, I wanted to speak to a rep!

Rep: Hello, how can I help you?

Me: I just received a notice that my account has been suspended.

Him: I can help you with that.

Me: Before you do, I happen to be an old and lonely woman and would like to chat you up first.

Him: What do you mean?

Me: Let’s get to know each other. Are you good-looking?

Him: What do you mean by that?

Me: Are you handsome?

Him (slight titter and amused but embarrassed voice): Well, I don’t know.

Me: What are you wearing?

Him: (still tittering and embarrassed voice): Clothes.

Me: Well, let’s go a bit deeper—what color is your underwear?

Him (tittering even more): White.

Me: White? That’s boring—why not colored underwear.

Silence.

Not sure if he hung up on me, but I think he just didn’t know what to say.

Me: Listen, dude, you are just another lying scammer. Piss off.

And I hang up. If I had not been about to take a walk, I would have baited him some more before getting to the underwear, but I consider this time well spent.