I just wished there was a Big Wall Around Africa 200 years ago... I will had liked to see the Americas with that wall, specially usa and since we are into walling a Huge Wall around North, Central, South America and the Caribbean Islands starting around 1490 I will say.

So the first thing you need to see is that nothing in this life really has an on/off switch. It's all on sliders.

You DID protect yourself, and rather intelligently, too. Congratulations! And you are reaching out to us (of course, we're all experts, natch) for advice, so you cannot be THAT walled-in. All in all, you're being pretty successful.

Life is funny....the people who present themselves before us...well, let's just say I have never found anyone "perfect" (still, looking, if you happen to be a unicorn, and are willing to undergo rigorous testing...). So, for companionship, look for people you resonate with. Start by just evaluating affinity, not looking for romance. In my experience, romance blossoms best when you're not watching actively for it (n.b.: there ARE exceptions). And understand there will always be flies in the ointment, you just don't want the big poisonous ones....

The unpresident thinks Walling is Good.

NO way to know. Trust but verify and remain hopeful.

Improve your critical thinking skills, to more effectively detect B.S.

You did it! You followed your gut, acted, and protected yourself. You might be disappointed, but you protected yourself from tremendous harm. Congrats! Keep doing that.

Diversify. Assume there will be no soul mate (because there is no such thing) and just go out to mingle with people without any expectations. You have to make yourself seen & known before you can find someone worth loving. I'm sure there are plenty of ways to do that where you live.

Love is funny, love is like gambling, you have to give a little to get a little. Big risks can lead to big rewards or great losses. But that what makes it so worth while, and so fufilling. So yes, you can give up, wall your self off, and live behind all your walls and rooms but you will go insane from the isolation and the lonliness. Not too mention that it's no way to live.

I think true love is putting yourself out there for all to see. Faults and all and having some one except you, ALL of YOU, for who you are, and not, who your supposed to be. Loving you and your imperfections, pains, and personal demons. Realizing that nobody is truly perfect and that theres always room for improvement.

We all want to be accepted, validated, and acknowledged. As human beings. And knowing that if we find some along the way, who is willing to come along with us for the ride, makes it all that much more... worthwhile..

Look. Take time to grieve and feel sorry for yourself, go through the rigours of heartbreak...but don't take too long. You just gotta get up, dust yourself off. And try again. Live your life...and like the song says...Don't Stop Believing.

It’s not possible to avoid pitfalls. It makes sense to take it easy and go slowly. Bring a friend. This can help because we tend to fall for the same things all the time. It’s as if we were built with a blind spot when it comes to certain things like “the mysteries of romance.”

DO NOT wall yourself in! Doing so cuts you off from ALL the good ones and only some of the bad ones. The bad boys can get around the walls you build. Just use much, much better judgement starting right now. Don't give up on romance forever due to one asshole. And I hope you reported him to the site. When it looks too good to be true, keep kicking the tires and don't just jump in for the ride with the candy-man! These guys seek-out the ladies they think appear needy, lonely, broke, and will buy their story without looking left or right. I see plenty in your profile that paints a target on your back. Like, " I think it's okay to come to conclusions without having to justify them". That's a billboard for this kind of thing. See where that takes you? Don't make the common mistake that so many ladies make.... that "wall" helps no one, but hurts you most. I find 80% of the women I contact are unwilling to call, give a number, give a name, give an email, or meet. Sure, some of that is just bad matching, but much is that, as they say, they've had bad experiences. Test guys a LOT harder. Don't beleive all you see/hear. Challenge them on everything! And don't fall so hard before you do your homework. Drop them when you get the very first whiff of deception... there is NO space for liars in a relationship! There are a hundred ways to verify that data without spending money. Get full name, get a land-line phone number, get a home address, ask where he works and for how long. CHECK those things! ALWAYS! The real guys who are really interested will understand and share the data you need. I know I will and have, when I'm interested in a lady. No wall!

you wrote, "He nearly swept me off my feet but it all seemed too good to be true. So I had a background check done...." @citronella seems to me like you did good...1. you were open to love. 2. you listened to your gut or past or something and checked him out...wise. 3. this pain is well worth the price for not finding yourself attached to this one, is it not? i hope it passes soon. You actually did great i believe.

Each relationship is a learning experience. Forgive yourself.

Let go of your anger: Punch a pillow. Exercise hard. Roll down your car windows and scream. Flush the toilet and imagine him swirling down the drain. Write your angry thoughts on paper and ritually burn it, letting the smoke drift up to the universe.

I refuse to let a few bad men destroy my opinion of half of the human race. The man who raped me does not control my mind or my life. I am better and smarter than him.

You cannot be open to a relationship when your heart is closed. To be open to love is to be vulnerable. You are green and growing. I support you.

Stay away from charmers, if they were really so, charming why are they unattached?

Hey, you did the background check. Your systems are working and your bullshit radar seems pretty good.
A pause for grief and anger is probably worthwhile but you've proof tested your relationship finding technique. This can mean that you can trust it again in the future. It won't be perfect but it looks like it was pretty sound.

Your overall judgment proved to be excellent. Congratulate yourself on your successful avoidance of danger.

Dangerous men tend to be confident and charming, so concentrate on shy men. Find one you like and invite him to your place for dinner.

Living a single life shouldn’t equal a bleak future.

Go
v e r y
s l o w l y .

He doesn't mean that there are no good guys out there, you could try again, you could succeed or fil again. Be wary of romance, companionship is a good start. Have decent male friends who can act as a sounding board for you, in case you get blind sided/charmed by someone.