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My long time religious friend died late Friday afternoon after having a sudden stroke. His name was Willie and he was about my age. We met and became friends around the age of 12 or 13. Later we attended the same types of Evangelical churches and he never could understand how my studies for the ministry helped turn me atheist. Bible study will do that if you have an open mind.

My daughters both agree that I should go to the visitation. I will do that but cannot stay for the funeral because I do not want to hear "he is in a better place now." I would be tempted to speak up and say that it is not true. He will be missed, but he is simply dead. I don't know how else to put it. His memory stopped when he died. He has returned to wherever he came from before he was born. He exists now in the minds of the living survivors who knew him. He will be missed.

DenoPenno 9 Dec 12

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Yes, he will be missed by you and probably others. Very good idea of you not going to the funeral though. Confrontations at funerals or wedding are never good for anyone.

His funeral is this Thursday at the local Temple Baptist Church. Visitation starts at 10 AM with the funeral following at noon. I will go for the 2 hour visitation. Once it gets funeral time I'm gonna slip out the door. During visitation I might answer others with "I know, I know." This is to avoid confrontations. I have been to graveside funerals where people immediately declare "he's up there in heaven right now." WTF? Both their minds and their eyes deceive them.

@DenoPenno Is a visitation like there is an open coffin and you look at the corpse? Why would you have to look at a corpse for two whole hours?


You are right to not want to hear it... Regardless what people believe, the funeral is not the place to confront them. So what if they want to believe he is going to a better place? It makes them feel better about the loss. Isnt that what all religions do? Gives people something to look forward to? Doesn't really matter if its true.

I see your point but it does matter. That is why I will go for the visitation and not stay for the funeral.


Sorry for your loss, show your respects as you wish.


So very sorry for your loss.
I don't blame you one bit for not wishing to be subjected to the pointless blathering.

Please be gentle with yourself.


Im so sorry for your loss. Your decision is wise and it will prevent you getting frustrated and also a unnecessary discussion too .
Have a good pic of you two placed at your home so you can smile as you look at him and remember fond memories 💕


I'm sorry your friend has died. I'm still lucky enough to have several friends that go back to that age and before. I too avoid funerals. Visitation is where it's all at anyway, Unless you're a preacher, Or a florist, Or a gravedigger etc.


My friend of 44 years mother died 3 weeks ago and I attended the funeral mass at the local church. When it comes time to paying my respects my personal beliefs have no part in where I go to do it…..even if it’s in a church.


It's probably better that you remember him as he was, and not as they think he now is.


Hard choice but you could show up pay respects and leave, make up a excuse

bobwjr Level 10 Dec 12, 2021

Funerals can be terrible, especially in the bible belt.

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