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Well just wanted to talk to yall for a minute. The woman I've been going with for the last 1.5 years has decided that she wants to break up. The reason being she is a Baptist and goes to church, while I'm an atheist she thought she could get me back in church but I have no desire to go to church and I'm not searching for god .

bradholland10 5 Apr 23

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7

So, she was seeing you under false pretenses.
That's too bad. I'm sorry she misled you and played with your feelings.
How christian of her.
I know it might not feel like it right this second, but I'm going to tell you
that you are better off without this person in your life.
Hope you get to feeling better about things soon.

5

Sorry man. That really sucks. On to bigger and better things.

3

Without knowing more I can't give an opinion, oh, wait. Yeah, there's no redeeming quality in that woman. Help her pack only to speed her butt out the door.

5

Sorry to hear that. It's better that you learn that now rather than later down the road. It still sucks though.

4

I’ve been on both sides of the breakup game. Be happy you got an explanation. As you may know, the explanation you got may not be the truth. The fact is that she wants out. If you like her, heck, there might be another one just like her in the same church or in a different one. Cut your losses. Take it easy. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. #breakup #religion #incompatibility #excuse #blamegame

7

I have dated religious men and it has never worked out, they try to save your soul for God and that seems more important to them than the relationship itself. Never again will I date a religious man, not ever ever ever. Not worth the anguish as I will never be religious myself.

6

Sorry for the hurt, but it is better to be true to yourself than to fake your way through life. Maybe you will find someone that likes you just the way you are here at agnostic.com. Best wishes.

I agree I think some people go to church just to look good in front of other people I'm not that person as a matter of fact last few times I heard a preacher preach I wanted to just go off on him and all of his little sheep

@bradholland10 I hear ya. Last time I was in a church was about 30 years ago. Such hateful, judgemental people. Would serve the right if there were a god. They would have some explaining to do!

4

It might just be a ploy to get you to go to church but that would be a deal breaker for me as well. A loving relationship is based upon mutual respect and trust, so that would be the end of that, sorry it didn't work out for you.

8

Find a good non believer. You will be so much happier.

5

Baptist? RUN. Run and be happy you didn't get trapped.

5

I'm sorry, I know this break up must be painful for you. If you are wondering why or her answer makes no sense...I was raised Independent, Fundamental Baptist & there is a ton of pressure on women to not be "unequally yoked" (being with a non-believer) because...once married, if the non-believer husband tells the wife she is not to go to church, as a good, christian wife, she must be submissive to & obey her husband, if she wants to please God. In order not to be separated from her "church family & the house of worship", she will cut herself off from "worldly things & people". I would love to say I'm joking...

I agree about the pressure on women. I don't know about pressure on men, but my marriage ended a few years after I deconverted. My partner said we were unequally yoked, and pushed me away. I said fuck that and asked for a divorce. He was never very religious, per se, but he was a traditional Southern Baptist and being an atheist in the bible belt is taboo.

2

The relationship was doomed. Be thankful you are free.

2

In the words of Billy Joel, "I love you just the way you are." Run, don't walk away from this woman. Religion and relationships, Catholics not wanting to marry Protestants and vice versa, and all the other religious crap I heard growing up were things that made me see the light.

3

There are fish in the sea that don't have fish on their bumbers.

4

You may be better off in the long run. Trying to change someone to fit their idea of what is "right" is just plain arrogant and self centered. Either you love someone they way they are or you don't. That's not to say we can't all change and self improve--but that is up to the individual, not the partner. How about she stops going to church to fit in with your beliefs? I imagine that wouldn't go over too well--and her trying to change you shouldn't either. If she wants you to be something you are not, then she doesn't love you.

4

Break-ups are painful, no matter what the reason may be. I hope you find a happier relationship in the future.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 23, 2018
4

I'm sorry brother...

3

Sorry to hear that, man. Seems like you were pretty up front about your lack of belief, but she thought she could influence you. It's a shame...

6

It's unfortunate but this is how women tend to think. Getting you in church makes both of you the same and her god will thank her too. Chances are she thought you were just "angry with god." Why? Maybe because their bible book teaches them that. The book also says that everybody believes in god, BTW. Either she thinks in her own mind that you "have had enough time" to make this decision so you can "both be equal" or her pastor or friends have been advising her about it. Evangelicals call it "being unequally yoked."

7

Did she have an agenda when you first got together thinking she was going to try and convert you? Then that is not love. It's tough but you will be better off in the long run since you didn't have a lot of time investe in it. There are women out there that are not going to try and change you into something you are not or don't beleive in. Well at least you know where you stand now in her eyes. So many relationships are busted up over this bullshit. Its not easy.

5

Bummer dude.

Sometimes people think that they can fix the other person in the relationship. Almost never happens...

5

I urge you to be true to yourself. If she wants to change you in this way, what else is on the agenda?

12

Bullets hurt worse. You dodged one.

4

Been there done that myself years ago. It sucks, but I had to let her go. We were so not on the same page....im an atheist, she was a deep believer.....it wasn't working.

You'll be OK.

8

What a waste at least she's gone. Bruh one thing I've learned in my life is there are no baptists that don't plan to try and convert you. Ever. My Missouri family pull this BS every few years. They give up...wait a while....then "god sent me a message that I will save you!!!!"

It was futile from the beginning bruh.

They're like Jehovahs Witnesses or mormons. They get holy points for every person they convert and 3,000 points gets them a cool plastic toy ring and 100,000,000 points gets them a wicked awesome personalized Heaven

@LadyAlyxandrea lmao I luv your humor

@LadyAlyxandrea here, 3000 points doesn't even get you to level 6 😉

@LadyAlyxandrea damn... just like chucky cheese.

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