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I'm just curious as to how everyone feels about this. If a man demanded that I do this, then I wouldn't be dating him anymore. Having said that, this is something I routinely do in my current relationship. If the date, event, excursion, or whatever was my idea, then I think it's my responsibility to pay for it, whether it involves a meal, a ticket, a tank of gas or whatever. Giving him the cash in advance is something that's between the two of us and nobody else needs to know. On the other hand, if a friend or an acquaintance sees me paying, then the whole fucking town knows.

MaryChristmas 7 Apr 21
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15 comments

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0

A proof that society has been constructed to exploit women and their labour.

1

This is bullshit!

0

I always insist on paying my way in all early and sometimes most encounters as many men in my age group think if they bought me a lunch, they bought me.
This "etiquette" advice above is from the 50's!!!!!!
I find it a relatively cheap way to weed out those who equate money with control,(traditional male-in-charge of the wittle, poor woman) and a host of stuff I try to avoid.
If you aren't man enough to at least let me pay for me, at the table/box office, we have little to build on.....

1

When I first thought of going out with Kate, my wife of 32 years, I figured I would get one date. Since I thought this I did not want to blow it so I waited for my time to arrive. At this time I had not two nickels to rub together, she worked for the Forestry Department and had a good job. We were at an event where a friend of ours, we both knew the person, where everywhere I went she followed saying that she had broken up with her present boyfriend. I heard this and gave it a thought. I had four dollars in my pocket and had promised to show up (at a first presentation of a play that is not official) this would cost four dollars. I left the party and went to the play leaving Kate at the party. Later, I called he up and asked her out for a date. I had more money at this time and paid for everything. We went to a movie and the went to an ice cream place and spent several hours just talking. No pressure as this was going to be the first and last date with her. At the end of the date she asked me why I did not ask her to go out at the party. I told her that at the time I had promised a friend that I would go to a play, I only had the money for one person to go and though better of asking her to spend her money or use her car. I did not have a car. She told me that she would have paid, I said something like, Oh, you mean I should have e said I got a great idea, lets go to a play, you can pay, and we will take your car, then you can take me home. She said well I knew you were poor and I would have understood. I said, you might, but I would have serious questions if you would pay for a first date with a guy that may not be able to return the effort.
Now at the time of this event we had probably known of each other for two years. I lived with four other men in a house. She was dating one of the guys, which I was not really aware of. I am not to smart about things that do not concern me. Though I was not rich by any definition I paid for our dating. She might have paid for some things but I do not remember if she did, and I would have been paying attention to this.
Another thing that happened at the same time was that my life changed as soon as I started dating her. My phone started to ring and thus I had the business and money for a relationship. I have no idea what I did but life changed for the better.
I probably should have edited this, but I am not doing well today, things are a little foggy in there.

It's all good ! Thanks for sharing !

0

No man is paying for me on the 1st meet up. I will be obligated to no one on 1st meeting. A follow date is on him. My acceptance or decline is no reflection on his marketability. It is a reflection of my values. A 2nd date might be arranged upon a successful 1st official date, & suggested by the lady. I would want to invite him to the zoo, botanical gardens, museum, flea marketing, bicycling, a lecture, a play , a protest march, a political rally, square dancing, a grave yard. Then I would have him tested for STDs. Once that gauntlet is navigated he may kiss me on the hand. Then there is dancing. Learns some moves and don't throw your arms in the air embarrassing her. You don't have to be Dave Lee Roth. He usually runs out of steam by then & moves on to the next prospect...unless he is firing 'roids & I don't mean the hemer kind

1

WHAT ???? Is this guy saying ??? That men have to pay for dinner once in a while ???
DAMN! Looks like my dating days are over...........I'm fucking BROKE Ladies .

twill Level 7 Apr 22, 2022
3

I'm fine with paying for my own admission fees, dinners, and drinks, but there's no way I would pretend the man was doing the paying by handing my money to him. If he has a problem with that, it's his problem.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 22, 2022
0

I believe that as per the meme, it's an old generation idea. If a man from a much younger generation truly believes that this is the right way, I will be tempted to say 'Where have you been, mate?'

Ryo1 Level 8 Apr 22, 2022
1

Wow! First off the law tutor is an idiot. Find me in any definition of manners where it says a woman isn't allowed to pay for anything. Especially in 2022 if someone can't handle a woman paying for a date or anything else that's their problem. Not that it matters but a woman offering to pay on a date with me just opens up my wallet. It's the offer that matters to me. What happened to self-respect?

lerlo Level 8 Apr 22, 2022
4

Looks like this guy has major male insecurities. I've often paid for first dates to break the ice on expectations. I love it more if things get mildly competitive over the check. I never mind if they ask to split the bill. Nevermind appearing weak, he already is if he feels so ashamed when a woman treats him to a meal.

2

I agree with you! There is absolutely nothing wrong with a couple taking turns to pay, or to go dutch, or some other agreement such as perhaps the dinner is part of an exchange for doing another favor such as a ride, handyman repairs, housework or some such thing.

It's absolutely nobody's business why one or both are paying for the meal. Often I do favors in the way of rides or getting groceries for a friend, and in turn I get treated to dinner now and then. Depending on what I deem is fair, I might pay for the tip, or tip the band or some other way to make things fair. Also, one party might have come into a windfall or simply have a higher steady source of income, and the finances work themselves out however they do.

That said, I sometimes discreetly hand money over to my dinner partner to even things up, simply so it doesn't look like I'm keeping a "boy toy" haha!

0

If the whole fucking town knows that I treat my friends as equals and they have an issue with that, then the whole fucking town is morally bankrupt.

1

Yea right, WTF is this idiot doing?

4

I don't understand this. If that tweet from Law Tutor wasn't on Twitter I would have thought it was something from the 1950's.

The person paying for the date/event/whatever is who pays. Who the hell is trying to impress their restaurant server? If a man (or anyone) is trying harder to impress the server than making a good impression on their date then that man must have some serious issues with his ego and self esteem.

0

Would seven o'clock suit?

@MaryChristmas bring your friend.

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