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I attended my good friends funeral today, I’ve been struggling with the importance of tradition, what is worth keeping and what isn’t? it’s been a day steeped in ritual, talk from the rabbi, friends speaking about the good memories, gathering together to tell the stories, this should not be lost. On the rest, I wore the Yarmulke, I threw dirt on the coffin. These are not my traditions but it means something to my friends family and it would have meant something to Bob, simple respect. I understand the importance of these things better now than I did this morning. It made me think of my Dad who always took on the customs of the people he was with. It’s a simple matter of respect. These are not the people using religion in bad ways, they were born to it and it’s all they know. Religion should have a secular alternative as apposed to nothing, I’ve changed my mind on that point today. Religion gave Bobs family a powerful way to say goodbye. No God need be mentioned to have found meaning in my friends life for me, but we aren’t all the same. I’ll miss my friend.

ArdentAtheist 8 Apr 27
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6 comments

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2

Ya done good. Sorry for your loss.

2

It is respect for your friend Bob, if you are ok with it then don't sweat it.

3

I respect your respect.
Now is not the time for the politics of religion.

That can be done on another day
Ethics tempered with Empathy.

My Condolences.

3

Think that is what Unitarian Universalists try and do...Secular traditions

5

I attended the memorial for a childhood friend in August last year. It was essentially Christian in nature, as he was a devout Christian; but that did not matter, he was my longtime friend and a good person. Some traditions, whether anchored in religion or not, give comfort to the observers of those traditions. Sorry for the loss of your friend.

5

Sorry your friend is gone, brother. My sympathy. I think you did the right thing, fwiw.

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