Seen elsewhere; worth pondering.
“ A TRUE EYE-OPENER!
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat down and talked about life. After a while I interrupted the conversation and said to him, ′′I'm going to wash the dishes, I'll be right back.”
He looked at me like I told him he was going to build a spaceship. So he said to me with admiration and a little stumped, ′′Glad you help your wife, I rarely help mine because when I do she never thank me. Last week I washed the floor and she didn't even tell me to thank you.”
I sat back down with him again and explained to him that I don't ′′help′′ my wife. Actually, my wife doesn't need help, she needs a partner, a teammate. I'm her home partner… and due to that, all functions are divided, which is not “help” with household chores.
I don't “help” my wife clean the house because I also live in it and I need to clean it too.
I don't “help” my wife cook, because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I don't “help” her washing dishes after eating, because I use these dishes too.
I don't “help” my wife with kids, because they are mine too and I have to be a father.
I don't “help” my wife wash, extend, fold, and put away laundry because it's mine and my kids too.
I don't give a “helping hand” at home, I'm part of it.
Then with respect, I asked my friend when was the last time his wife finished cleaning the house, doing laundry, changing the bedsheets, bathing the kids, cooking, organizing, etc.. and did he say: “thank you?”
I mean a real thank you, like, “Wow, baby!! You're amazing!!"
Does this all seem absurd? Does it sound weird to you? When, once in your life, you cleaned the floor, you expected at least an excellence award with great glory... why? Haven't you ever thought about that?
Maybe, because for you, macho culture taught you that everything is a woman's task.
Maybe you've been taught that all this should be done without you having to move a finger.
So praise her as you would like to be praised, likewise, with the same intensity. Hold her hand and behave like a true companion, and assume your part, don't behave like a guest who simply comes to eat, sleep, shower, and satisfy sexual needs... feel at home, in your home.
Change in our society begins in our homes, teaching our children the true sense of fellowship!”
Having been in the military - folks learn quickly to keep organized & clean.
Teaching children to cook & basic sewing helps keep them Independent.
It is also a mental health BENIFIT
because clutter adds to stress.
Somethings are more important than book knowledge.
PS. I used to cook & clean regularly because it ment more " quality time " with my loved ones ( and for them ) later.
I live alone and have done so for the majority of my adult life so either I do it or it probably won't get done. I'd greatly appreciate some help with housework.
Until Mothers train better, men will continue to believe the Laundry Fairy, the Cleaning Fairy, and the Childcare Fairy drop in regularly.
I think it’s a different problem, mostly that the men are not doing their part! Children model themselves after the gender of the parent with whom they most identify. The majority of boys learn from their male parent’s attitude in this regard, regardless of the input they receive from their mothers.
@MsKathleen It's much easier for men/boys if society accepts the concept of ''womens' work."
You do realize you are the exception, rather than the rule, right? Quite frankly, I think there needs to be frank discussion about these things, regardless of the sex of the domestic partners. But I think you are better able to empathize with most women today…Especially since many of them also work outside the home.