My patient died, I held his hand as he went to sleep and told him we'd look after him. Surgery didn't go well, the op was more extensive than expected. He didn't cope as well as we'd hoped things started going south. We couldn't get him back. It's not the 1st it's definitely not the last, but every time I have a little cry. I can't help feeling I could have done more. It's worse when they're young, it's worse when you hold their hands. It's never easy, I oftentimes wonder why I'm still here doing this job. Today's a bad day.