Their suggestions are, indeed, ignorant. It's like telling a paraplegic to 'just get up and take a walk.'

I'd suggest seeing a doctor, as the exhaustion might also stem from sleep problems.

You have described people who may be of good heart and intent, but who nonetheless display ignorance of the experience of depression, general deficit of empathy, and very poor working theory of mind.

The bad news: that's most people. The good news: they're not being jerks on purpose (probably), and you don't have to take them seriously. Ignore them. Tell them to flit off with their unhelpful nonsense, if you need to. Truly supportive friends will be there for you no matter what.

What type of doctor do you see? I had a lot of issues when I saw a family practice dr. After a 3 day voluntary admission to the psych ward I was assigned an amazing psychiatrist. I thoroughly believe she saved my life. She went through a long list of questions trying to determine exactly what I needed to be treated for. Then reviewed what she thought I should be on medication-wise and actually asked if I was comfortable with that! She didn’t just talk to me for 5 minutes and write a prescription!

I have been struggling to find a psychiatrist for my daughter who is under my exes insurance. I know it can be challenging to find one but it’s worth it in the end.

One thing I’ve learned is to do mental health checks on myself about once a month and if I’m not feeling well or what I consider normal for myself, I make myself see my psychiatrist.

Best of luck to you!! Hugs

Good lord it kills me to see such young people suffering with this. My girl has depression, mostly circumstantial but still... You are young enough to be my daughter. I hope you find an answer. My girl has a wonderful therapist, and thankfully she and I have always had a very close relationship, where she's free to tell me anything.
She has an Rx which helps her a great deal also.

I know exactly where you are coming from, I've had to deal with depression for most of my adult life. I don't think most people who don't have depression can really understand it. They think you're just sad but depression is more than that, it is a chemical inbalance. No one would ever say to someone with diabetes that they don't need their medications and have a slice of birthday cake like the rest of us.
I gave up drinking alcohol and found a good medication, that was the best thing ever for me. I also stay busy with work, side projects, hobbies. I still have times I get depressed but the intervals are longer and durations are shorter.
Hang in there, life can get better it just takes a little more for some of us.

It just sounds like these friends are oversimplifying depression to me and perhaps being a bit ignorant. Depression and the side effects are not things you can just think or wish away. It takes time, and even after you regain your footing relapsing can still occur. It is a process, a long process as I recall it. It took me five years to get out of my rut (depression). For four months during my recovery I almost relapsed on more than several occasions but managed to keep my momentum in the end, for the most part. I'm not saying it takes five years for everyone, just that depression is no laughing matter and cannot simply be shrugged off as if it were nothing.

Sis, it's not "just in your head", you know that. I love you and you know you're just trying to convince yourself that it's your fault, when it's not! Yeah you've been unpleasant of late, so was I two years ago. I was the very definition of bitch while I was depressed. Look, you need to let people help you, one thing that might help is if you stop brushing off our advice, especially us who've been where you are. Yeah, some of your buddies are ignorant on the matter, but they're trying to help. Please, you've got to let us actually help you.

Everyone is different and my advice may not work for you but I've dealt with it for years and still have bouts from time to time.

1. I recognize that my depression is just chemicals in my brain, nothing more. Each day I wake up unhappy the difference is my depression, not the world, my friends, or my situation. My situation may genuinely suck, but I can fix anything if I can stop lugging this depression around. When I was really low and thinking about suicide I fought hard with this. I didn't want to make a permanent decision based upon a temporary state of mind. Saying that now is a lot easier than it was then.

2. I stop hating myself for anything at all. My goal is to not be depressed, self-hatred isn't the way there. I may feel bad about something I've done or not done, but that isn't helping right now. I promise myself I'll revisit those feelings when I'm back to level, but for now my judgement is clouded. I may have done something genuinely shitty, and I'll deal with it following my climb.

3. I start eating more. This may seem counter-intuitive but this is my plan not yours, so shut up! I don't really eat lots more and I'm not drowning myself in food, but I stop worrying about how much or what and just enjoy what I'm eating for a bit. This helps me in my next step.

4. I start working out more. Jogging, going to the gym, biking, hiking, just going for more walks. Anything that has at least 30 (preferably 60) minutes a day of effort. Those same chemicals I talked about in step 1, they're mine and I start fixing them naturally which excercise does. It may just be my opinion, but I think drugs keep you dependent on them to stay happy or more typically not feel anything.

That's my entire list. A lot of people will tell you to talk about it and that does help, but I'm not much of a talker, I don't have the money to spend on therapists all the time, and I hate to depend on others because they let you down. By the time I'm in a workout routine I realize at some point that I've worked my way out of my low state. It works every time and I don't take drugs for it. To be honest I'm usually on a consistent work-out routine more often than not and I see it as a mental need for people like myself as much as or more than physical. I do circle back to the feelings I had and usually find simple non-destructive answers.

I hope this helps, if you've got any questions let me know. Good Luck.

Noobly, Depression is real. I never realized how depressed I had gotten until I got better and realized I'd been a total douche.

If at all possible, see a psychiatrist. They specialize in mood disorders. I'm not a doctor, but I have a 23 year old daughter. Birth control pills helped stabilize her hormones.

Do not be afraid to fully disclose and to ask a ton of questions.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. (That's a joke.)

Hi @Marcie1974 and @evestrat,
Please, could you share any advice you have regarding managing depression with @catnublia?
Thanks!

I’ve only delt with depression a couple times but I learned that distractions are great. Friends and family should be there to support you. Through anything. Try to focus on work or a project. At the same time, try to isolate the source of your depression or seek out professional help. It’s nothing wrong with you, It’s just that humans don’t come with quality control checks or user manuals.

I've struggled with depression on and off for years. Most people don't understand that depression is very real; either that or they're too scared to go there because they themselves may have their own depression issues they don't want to deal with. I try to gravitate towards people who understand what I'm going through, who empathize and don't judge, and limit my interaction with the people who mean well but don't get it. Either that or try to educate them if I think they could be open to understanding a little more about it.

Sometimes a problem does not call for an immediate solution. Your friends may be well meaning in their suggestions but you may be needing an empathetic ear. You might let them know you just need to have someone listen for a while. Depression can be a difficult hurdle for so may people. I have watched that struggle in friends and family members. I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time right now.

I lost someone to depression recently. She didn't believe that she touched so many lives so deeply. Like you, she was on medication (I believe Ativan) for years. Seek counseling and remember, there are plenty of examples of people who's depression passed.

no one wants to be with a miserable and grouchy person

This is why I don't have any friends

I'd be a little leery of trying to put to much into the medications. Those meds can sometimes mitigate the symptoms but they won't cure it. To get passed your current state of mind you basically need to re-wire your neural circuits. In other words you need to talk yourself out of it through a lot of positive self talk, 'fake it till you make it'. Cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness ars the way to do this. It takes a lot of effort and time and I know it works from my own experience.

Have you had a checkup to make sure you're not missing some key element (such as iron) in your diet? I know I've experienced tiredness that didn't go away and it was because I was missing some key element that my body needed to perform optimally. Sorry you're going through this! What type of depression? I have lots of brothers who are bipolar and have to stay on meds or they get super angry and depressed so I know the importance of properly managing meds!

I think two books are useful.

The Depression Cure (Steve Illardi)
Depression Delusion (Terry Lynch)

If your depression is reactive then medications are not really the answer. There is a lot of controversy over antidepressants, their efficacy or lack of and side effects.

Depression is a symptom of profound needs not being met.

I just grin & bare it, but that's just me.

Being depressed is a real bitch, and in my experience takes a lot of work to get past. To start, I try to take control by telling myself that though being depressed might not be in my control, how I re-act to it is. So I tell myself that the choise is mine how I re-act. If I can't be calm, I will act calm, if I can't be happy, I will act happy, ect. Depression, if we let it, will lead to doing, and thinking, things that have us feeling worst about ourselves. We don't feel like getting out of bed, so we don't, then we down ouselves because the things that should get done, don't. We get cross with friends, then feel bad because we did, and get down on ourselves more, driving depression deeper. It becomes a downward sprial. Good luck to you with the rest of your life. You are among friends.

So sorry you are experiencing this and at a time when the world should be yours to enjoy and make the most of.
I hate medications, at best they can be a short term help to get you through a rough time until you are ok to handle things on your own.
If you were older I would suggest a complete change of life, get away from depressing surrounds and situations. Maybe that is because that is what I have done a couple of times in my life. Just started again. But for that to work you need to be able to leave the depression behind along with the situation.
You are on meds, so obviously someone is prescribing them for you, tell them of your problems balancing them, and maybe ask for a referral to a specialist if you are only seeing a GP.

There are different degrees of bipolar disorder that range from mostly depressed with short periods of the happy (manic) side to becoming manic more of the time. The medications also have a vast range of effects. I lived with my ex-wife for twenty years while we tried to figure out how to get a good balance. We went to many doctors and tried too many medications. The disorder is ever changing because it is a chemical imbalance in the brain that needs to be supplemented to correct it. Things that worked a little bit were when we went for rides to the country together, or tried to socialize with friends, listening to some good music. Staying away from alcohol and certain foods like grapefruit. She is living on her own now and I hope she is doing well. It's always good to talk with other people.

My son is 18 and is having the same experiences as you. I have taken him to a Psychiatrist and he started a new medication regimen. He will also be receiving therapy. I spend a lot of time with him and support him as much as possible. I am hoping that modern medication can help him and help you. Please private message me. Maybe you and my son can talk.

I struggle with depression and anxiety, and I run a Health and Wellness program at a local shelter. People tend to conflate clinical depression with feeling depressed, and either oversimplify the problem or overstate their own understanding of depression. But those who haven’t experienced it or spent years researching it in a clinical setting don’t really have a grasp on what it’s like to struggle against brain chemistry; simple mindfulness meditations or positive-thought exercises can be useful with depressive feelings if these are not chronic or severe.
It sucks to have people conflate their limited experiences with depression with yours. Are there ways you can work to mitigate the impact of negative thoughts or depressive episodes? Sure. But, these merely mediate the intensity or duration of depressed feelings: they aren’t a cure anymore than beings on meds “cures” you. You do what you can as you can, and if they can’t love you in the midst of your hardship that’s a reflection of their weakness, not yours. Still sucks though. Good luck. If you need to talk, PM me anytime.

When I was 18 I was happy all the time because I was healthy. If you are having all those issues at that age, gee..... I do have bad days but my excuse is that I am exactly three times your age !!!! Don't wait until you are my age only to find out that everything is wonderful when you're 18 ( now, here is the punch line I may get crucified for.... Something does not add up, not buying it )