I've heard a very beautiful rendition of my all time favourite song: The Rose - I think Janis Joplin wrote it (no idea really) the singers were 3 Moari men - SOL3 MIO - the lyrics are about love.

"When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long" - that's how I feel most of the time.

Yes, anyone can have love. It's perfectly possible to love an animal, or a child, or a neighbor, friend, coworker, co-volunteer - there are lots of opportunities to love and be loved. If you're specifically talking about love in the context of a romantic relationship, it's perfectly possible for most people. They just need realistic standards and decent boundaries.

I don't know why you say that "Very few people are successful at the love thing" - what's your definition of "success" here?

Do reptiles feel love? It's a question, in my opinion, worth thinking about carefully.

However, as mammals, we certainly do. I have read that it's an evolutionary adaptation, the fact that we feel it for our young, and our mates, allows us to form social bonds that make us, as creatures, more biologically successful. We can take more time to mature, and be protected during the fragile time of gestation, allowing for larger brain development, and a larger skill-set with which to survive.

As far as romantic love....well, that could be made-up....but there is LOTS of anecdotal evidence of people falling in love even when they didn't buy into the premise. So it can't just be cultural brain-washing on a large scale. We're probably hard-wired to seek companionship, and sex PLUS companionship is a two-for-one special too appealing to pass up.

I love my children. In the biological sense we bonded to each other and I protect, nurture, and care for them. My bond with them transcends any other attachment with another person. If it wasn't for all that oxytocin we'd probably not have survived as a species.

‘’I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard Morty then it slowly fades leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are going to do it. Break the cycle Morty, rise above, focus on science.’’ - Rick Sanchez

Sometimes some people deserve a second chance.

Recently one of our members posted a link to a clinical description of love & attraction. I took it as well researched, but so creepy I couldn’t finish … and didn’t post an opinion or response ..it had me that rattled. It’s so hardwired, and what I’d been ‘proud of feeling’ was some kind of pure attraction was actually the equivalent of a drug or dopamine rush.. Messed with me for days.

I suspect we’ve all wished there was ‘a switch’ we could flip on or off with regard to ‘love.’ There’ve been numerous times I’d likely have had it welded to the off position… But still find myself too easily wound up over the possibilities..

I’d actually had a wonderful romantic love affair, culminating in two sincerely loved children. So, in a way, it worked. But, it appears to be fleeting, or at least evolves into different stages.. Eventually, it felt forced, and after a good 30 years, ended.

Perhaps it shouldn’t last ‘forever,’ as I’m sure it rarely does. Permanent bonding doesn't fit our primate profile, and though we’re pretty good at overriding our instincts, we eventually falter. And, that’s not the end of life, only one segment.. But having looked … I can’t find the link to that clinical description ..and don’t know if I really want to know. A life of ignorant bliss appears to work for the religious

A lot of people get lust, romance, intimacy, and love confused with each other. It is quite the dilemma though as those 4 things can exist in one relationship or they can be independent of each other.

@Allen1812

I'll take you up on that, Allen. There is a mental development cutoff for love, and I think as people grow more, they learn to do more loving, rather than just feel it, and those feelings don't control as much. They are also contextualized better.

I think people take love as a means of survival because they haven't learned how to find someone who will do the loving to them.

For example, last night, I communicated with a very loving woman over the phone. Right now, she is loving me by not ringing my phone while I am busy.

I think that love needs to be thought of in very sheer, but very numerous tactics for keeping and tightening the relationship. I guess the tightness could only go so much in the situation when children are involved, because they will need the lion's share of loving interaction, being just children.

Great question!
The myth of romantic love helps the society maintain a healthy birth rate and provide parental care for the children. Earlier the institution of marriage and religion were sufficient to ensure this. Now that these institutions are not so central, the myth of romantic love has replaced them. We claim that love makes you happy and it is your right to pursue happyness. Indeed with the initial passionate love we do feel happy with our raging hormones. After that, it's all a matter of belief. You believe you have found your partner, or not.

This is how I think about romantic love, but don't really have much experience.

Love is complicated, rare and beautiful when you find/develop it.

Love is a wishing well.
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Actually I think it's a mostly useless word, buried by its implications and subject to the meaning whoever is saying it and/or hearing it puts on it, which are seldom the same.