Does anyone have a parent (mostly male) that suffers from dementia and or altzheimers and are worried that it is creeping up on you? I did some genealogical research on my family, and in doing so, I learned my GG Grandfather’s death certificate listed his cause of death as Insanity. He was 81. My father will be 90 next week and he has severe dementia. Sometimes I wonder that I will inherit it.
I refuse to live that long in that state. Thoughts?
I'm sorry to hear about your dad ... I don't believe it has to happen to you even if it runs in your family. I believe part of avoiding a severe condition like alzheimer's is keeping your mind active, forward thinking, analyzing, doing puzzles, crosswords, reading for comprehension, engaging with life, staying in touch with loved ones and friends for as long as possible. Part of that involves keeping yourself in good physical shape so that physically you can do all those things that your mind can still do. I see my dad after years of sitting in his recliner, watching tv, eating bad stuff, drinking, not exercising, depressed at times, he will be 80 this year and is in pretty bad health. Now the memory issues and confusion are progressing as well. I was recently given Power of Attorney, it's a long story but I don't look forward to the next few weeks. I probably didn't help much but wanted to give a little bit of encouragement if I could
My dad is experiencing dementia... Which I think is bullshit. Anyone so abusive to their children should never be awarded the "I get to forget my past" trophy. They should be forced to live with it until they did.
@Ride_Captain Agreed. I made a conscious decision when I was 17 to be nothing like my own dad when I have my family. And I've succeeded in that. However, there are times when I do get so heated with my kids that "I feel my dad coming out in me." It's a scary feeling. I have to walk away when that happens. My wife knows my history and she's really good about pulling me away before I ever do anything I may regret. Without her, I'd probably be my own dad right now...having kids is tough. I will say that when I grew up I did empathize with him, though. He had two jobs. His first as a welder...he'd get up at 4AM and be to work by 5. Then he wouldn't be home until 5PM and he had a small side tree-trimming business that all us boys (7 of us) would go help him with and he wouldn't get back until 9 or 10 each night. The days we got beat the worst were those days where my mom would prod him as soon as he got home and demand that he "take care of this boy or that one" who wasn't listening or whatever they did....when I grew up and realized how tough the "adult life" is and how tough it can be to raise kids, I have grown to respect him a lot more.
After all these years, I've finally come to the realization that he was doing the best that he could with the tools he had and many days that we got beat so badly were days that he just really wanted a little peace at home...but he never got that. We are actually good today, he and I.
My sister-in-law did, this is one of my greatest personal fears, though my family history works in my favor.
You can resist genetic predisposition. No guarantees of course. Science has data. Food? Brown & white is not food. Color is.
Exercise. Decrease stress with meditation, yoga, exercise.
Knowledge. Learn, learn, learn. Something new, challenging, difficult. Crossword puzzles, mahjong, video games, gardening, traveling, new language.
All these things create new synapsis which resist the amyloid plaques that rot brain matter.
A study of nuns & monks who donated their brains found that even with the plaques these folks showed few signs of dementia. Their brains made new connections circumventing the destroyed brain matter & continued to function.
Make some life changes slowly & build on these changes until it becomes a lifestyle.
Good luck.
My only suggestion is to keep abreast of the best cognitive assessment tests and decide early on how you want to deal with it. My adopted Dad & his Dad both had it. My Dad's in late stage as I type, Dx'd 2012 I do think there's a genetic link. The stuff that gets my family is cardiac & diabetes, altho no one is/was morbidly obese. The heart stuff in my family gets us quickly.
Alzheimers is truly one of the most cruel conditions out there, some people live with it for years and years.
My uncle has dementia and altzheimers. It's scary watching him because we are very much alike or at least we were. He had a wonderful talent at painting and woodworking, even made a living at building things for people. Now he can't read a tape measure or draw a stick figure. I can't help but to think "all that talent is just gone like a chalkboard erased."
It my biggest fear that this will happen to me also, I can't imagine loosing who I am in such a way.
I wonder if it isn’t harder on the people who must watch a once vibrate person, not be ‘that,’ person anymore! My friend who is 93 with Alzheimer, keeps saying that she wants to live to be 100 (she has said this for the 45 yrs that I have known her). And I keep thinking about her children who must care for her! Lucky for her, they are very caring!!
@Freedompath I know it's frustrating for him also he gets mad at all sorts of things, sometimes for no reason. But you're right that it is on the entire family.
Some thirty years or so ago , my Mom began calling me by my cousins' names . Last time I went to visit , about two years ago , I lived in their apartment , with them , for about ten days . Each time her husband spoke with her about me , he would say , "your daughter , " and my name . Not once did she call me by any name at all , and I'm totally sure she had absolutely no clue as to who I was . She died May 29th of last year , at the age of ninety nine and a half .
I noticed I had difficulty remembering some words long ago , but could describe what I wanted to say , and recognized the right word , if someone else said it . I pushed my doctor and they finally tested me , and decided I might be in the early stages . I do take a medication , which they said would not cure it , but would slow down it's progress , and I believe it has . I noticed someone here has written there is a connection to diabetes , which both Mom and I acquired , so there may be a connection there .
While you often see films of people in the final stages , with consistent good medical care , it can be very slow to develop . I was diagnosed with diabetes about 29 years ago , and began suspecting alzhiemers about twenty years ago .
I am sure it is worrisome, but live your life, as none of us has a guarantee about how we end up! In my family it is heart desease. But, I spend little time on my heart desease, if I have any? So far none has shown up, but there are no guarantees! I have a friend who does have advanced Alzheimer at 93...she still knows me and lights up when I visit! But, she is limited, even though she makes the best of her life! I think it is hard on her children and others around her!
My Grandmother had Dementia before she died. I don’t think about it to much. She couldn’t remember where she was, or who she was with but she always remembered me.’ I guess further down the line I will think about it. I took one of those DNA test and that trait didn’t come back but I will take that information at face value.
I certainly don't think as clearly as I did even 5 years ago, only my son notices but he lives with me. I don't think it is any more than aging and too much in my head, I did burn my brain out a couple of times over the years and each time it has lost a little ability.
No dementia on either side of the family, my ex has it on both sides so i worry for my kids. My mother is just frustrating, cunning as an outhouse rat, claims poor memory when caught out in a lie.
Poor coping skills...on your mom’s part!