My mom and I placed my dad’s cremated remains in a columbarium in Florida National Cemetary today. He died two weeks ago. Since we are not religious, we kept it pretty simple. He was a veteran so he qualified for a free spot.
I’ve been surprised by the number of people who say “he’s in a better place.” He had it pretty good, really, and probably expected to live a couple more years. But I’m not going to say something snarky and usually just nod with vague agreement. It’s about on par with “bless you” and “we’re praying for you” where the sentiment is meant to be positive and it just happens to be meaningless to me. I can accept the sentiment and go about my business.
I have no real beliefs about where he is now. Nowhere or reincarnated or dispersed across the spiritual ether. I really have no idea but I’m pretty sure that if there is something deeper going on, none of the actual religions have figured it out.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button."Taps" to your dad and my condolences to you and your family.
Dogs4mylife
Level 5
May 18, 2018
0
My professional experience included hospice caregiver and hospice nurse. My experience is also that words, even cliches, become pretty meaningless when the sentiment is heartfelt.
My personal experience with death is that our loved ones hang around until we're ready to let go. My SO stayed with me the first 3-5 years, as I learned to navigate single parenthood. I could recall him, his thoughts, his words, his reassurances. I'm sure I was in shock the few months after he died and finally stopped crying at 5 years.
As far as ashes go, he sits unceremoniously now in a closet and he would be okay with that. He was a frontiersman. Sometime in my lifetime, my son and I and his lovely fiance will head to the mountains and find the right spot for my son's dad. Death is not one size fits all. The experience is personal. I'm sorry for your loss and glad you and your mom have one another.
crazycurlz
Level 7
May 15, 2018
1
As a veteran your Dad is entitled to a flag. Check with your local Veteran's organization. The Post Office has flags for Vets ....at least they used to when I was a Postal Employee. You probably will need his DD214 and death certificate.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
nicknotes
Level 8
May 15, 2018
2
Wonderful....it is a great item to have to remind the family of your Dad's service to our country.......@PhitDoctor50
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