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The term, ‘separated’ is a bit vague. To some it can mean that there is still some hope for reconciliation, and for others it can mean that no man’s land between filing for divorce and the finalized divorce decree. ‘Separated needs a couple of subcategories.

Hermit 7 May 19

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To me when I see separated I means do not contact her. I am OK writing on here but would never contact for personal dating etc.


I am newly separated. To me, this separation is a step towards divorce (In Louisiana we must live apart for 180 days {childless marriage} before filing for divorce). I was open to reconciliation, and my husband knew that when I asked him to leave. He's put as much effort into that option as he had put in to the marriage: none. So I am now viewing this separation as the final step of acceptance before I file for the divorce. I am 100% NOT ready to date and I recognize that fact. I would never string another person along on my painful journey.


Separated is complicated and the possibilities are endless.... I bet each story is unique in its own way


I would agree with that. I went on dating sites when I was separated. In hindsight I wasn't really ready to date. So I generally do not reach out to someone listed as separated. If a guy reaches out to me and I'm interested I like to find out exactly what that means. I had one guy that had been living separately from her for 2 years but the divorce was just dragging.

I had another guy that listed his status as separated but they were still living together and hadn't even told their kids yet! I basically told him that I wasn't interested in dating but would be happy to lend an ear and be his friend because I had recently been through a similar situation. That essentially turned into him complaining about her for hours on end and as soon as I would try to talk about anything going on in my life, the conversation abruptly ended. Very one sided.


I would agree, there does need to be some clarification on this point, how about.....

Separated (Until hell freezes over....and then for a couple of weeks after that) 🙂


I now view the word "separation" as a possibility of them working it out. I make it a practice not to ever show interest or date anyone who has SEPARATED as their status. I made that mistake once and spent time licking my wounds.


And the gradations should reflect who moved, what did they take, leave behind, comments about what was left behind, geographical distance, decibels of last few "conversations," words used during those conversations,...


I narrow it down to two descriptions: 1. You are together. 2. You are not together. Everything else is some form of deception toward someone. This being said, I may have abused the deception part in the past. I've never cheated on my relationships, but for sure I've seen some married women while I was single.


Guess I'm just a prude, I only date women who are really single and hopefully have responsibly processed most of the crap from their previous relationships.

LOL I dated a "Christian" several years ago, she claimed her status was "divorced" but that meant they were still working out the fine points. I shouldn't have expected honesty from someone who is delusional about Santa


Canada requires a one year separation (must not be living together) before you can file for divorce. I definitely didn't need that much time to be emotionally ready to date.

Seriously? I didn't realize that....I had mentally checked out of my marriage for a good 4 years before we actually filed for divorce. Would have been tough to wait another year after deciding to divorce.


Snd for others it can mean, "since breakfast". I tend to keep things very platonic when they are separated.


True. I dated a man once who listed his status as separated. Well, he wanted a divorce, but was still living in the same house and she didn't know about his plans. That isn't separated, it is messed up. Even if you are separated waiting for the divorce to become final, IMHO, you're not ready for a few relationship for a while yet. You've got some emotional and financial work to do before you can move on.

I totally agree. I’m definitely not looking to get into another relationship anytime in the foreseeable future. My head is a bit too done in at this point. My mom told me that I’ll be fine in about 4 years. I’m hoping it won’t take that long, but she’s probably right.


When I see men's dating profiles and their status displayed as 'separated' I understand what it means. That his wife hasn't a clue.

For me it means I’m going through a divorce.

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