Do you have several different versions of "you", in different settings? None of them quite right?
I can behave appropriately in a variety of different situations. If you segmented those I suppose it would appear as such but they are all the actual me oh... I’m generally comfortable so the feel right part is fine.... was different when I was young and shy... I’m most defiantly not shy now.
I have several "mes" and they are all quite right. They are facets of my personality. In linguistics, there is the term "code switching," which refers to how we switch vocabulary and tone when we speak to individuals. We tend not to speak to a judge as we would speak to a small child. Our personas serve much the same purpose.
Some called me a "chameleon" once, and I agree, but the chameleon always knows her/she "true" colors.
I had a nervous breakdown at 17 and went back to the world after treatment not having the slightest idea who I was or who I should be. The only thing I knew was that the person I was did not have a place in the world. In less than a year I tried to do away with that person. For more than 40 years after that suicide attempt, I tried umpteen different versions of me and as you probably suspect, none of them worked any better than the person I vaguely remembered from the past. I’m old now and virtually retired so I don’t need to project a persona anymore. That means that I can be myself. The trouble is that I don’t know who that is.
I am different around my family and my coworkers mainly because of religion and political differences. They all know my choices but I tone myself down so as to not alienate them. It is refreshing to be around people who understand what I have gone though in reinventing myself and it is nice to be commended for critical thinking rather than criticized for it.
This happens to people with EUPD who rarely understand who they really are. There is no grand discovery following a series of soul searching therapy, often the damage is done...they have to create a new real them. It is tough but doable. 'Fake it til you make it'